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You know what would be the worst episode of Madness ever? One where they have to fight the fat girl from the movie Precious. You sit down and fire up a new episode and expect to see Hank or Deimos stabbing and shooting their way across the screen, and of course that goes on for a while, but then the fat chick from Precious shows up, drinking a bucket of gravy. "Oh wow, is that a new member of the 1337 crew?" you say to yourself. No, it isn't. It's the girl from Precious.
And they can't really do anything to her, right? Sure, Hank could throw a knife at her, but it would take like 20 hours for her to bleed out because at this point all of her blood has pretty much been replaced by molasses. Shooting her in the heart is out, because it's surrounded by a protective barrier of chicken strips and fudge. The fast paced action you've come to expect from Madness would be replaced by some hour long video of Sanford half-halfheartedly hacking away at a fat girl. It would just be embarrassing for everyone involved. Why not celebrate the fact that we don't live in a world where this episode of Madness exists by buying this snazzy new Madness T-shirt?