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You ring the doorbell. Who gets a doorbell that plays the theme to "Baywatch"? Weird. The door opens. A housewife looks quizzically at you. You probably should have put on some pants, as your leopard print thong is looking a little tired these days.
"Hello, I have just moved to this neighborhood, and as a result of court ruling I must inform you..."
But she's not paying attention. Instead she's fixated the rag doll in your hands.
"Is... is that an Alien Hominid plush toy?" she asks.
"Why yes. Yes it is. One of only a hundred ever made."
"How fascinating!" Amazing. She's not even distracted by your nipple clamps.
"Indeed. Not only is it an adorable, fun toy hand crafted by Nathan Kuruna from a design by Nathan and Tom Fulp, but the proceeds go towards a good cause."
"A Newgrounds cause? I hope so. I'm always looking for ways to help Newgrounds," she asks, giddy with excitement.
"All proceeds go towards helping fund Nathan's documentary about Newgrounds and online entertainment, "Everything, By Everyone". And when you order your individually-numbered plush, you even get a certificate of authenticity and letter of thanks," you reply, idly caressing your Donnie Osmond tattoo.
"Wow! That's great! I tried buying Alpacas and not only did I not get a thank you note, the alpacas ate my husband. I'm going to order one right now!" She skips away gleefully to her computer, leaving you alone with all the sexy, nubile food in her refrigerator. Jackpot.
You heard right! Only 100 numbered units in existence. Get yours now!
Please note that this item contains beans. OMG! While they are beans specifically designed for placing in toys, some countries - okay, it's really just Australia - don't care and will want to either open up your toy to verify this or subject it to AUD$42.50 worth of Gamma radiation to make sure their precious ecosystem isn't threatened.