Dude, work on the graphical look. And, choose a better font next time, it doesnt appear 'correct' - that or place a |speach| box behind the text.
I've seen this done before, killing mario. the whole "black mario" thing was kind of stetchy to start with but it does work with your storyline.
Again, graphics. The blood was just *bleh* - no appeal of realism to it lol. Work on getting that to look less 'child-safe' i guess =P this is NGs, make it bloody lol.
Keep it up, improve your work but dont get discouraged.