I also enjoy the soft and glossy art style, and this is great for a first attempt. But, that also means it's not perfect. The guy's hand seems to move a bit more than is really necessary and can be a little distracting. I also had a hard time telling where the lady's mouth was, and even wondered if the skull she was wearing was her mouth. And mayyybe turn the BGM down just one or two notches.
However, the details of the movements of everything else are nice details. I liked the internals shots and how that was taken into account for the sound design. The sound design was also good and sexy, and the music itself was good. I look forward to seeing more of these regularly and to see how you improve!