Very Nice Work Dude!
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Very Nice Work Dude!
I loved this animation! I think this is one of the few cartoons that I've seen that uses pantomime second only to Sergio Aragones. I hope you make more episodes!
Thank you so much for your comment I'm glad you loved it!
For a little context, my thesis investigation was around understanding how visual comedy works and how it's perceived. So, when thinking what to do as a project, I decided to make a cartoon where there is not clear dialogue and everything is purely narrated by the visuals!
I think it was really good despite some stuff I had to watch twice in order to understand what was going on. Like it took me a while to understand he was working on a sign to provent people from getting hit by spikes.
Still! I love the animation style and the audio is amazing too :D
Good job :)
Thank you! I appreciate your comment! I know it can be a little tricky to keep your atention on the story and it's because it had a lot of revisions of my supervisor and adjustments that needed to be done in order to make it in time since it was me making everything with no budget and without people to help. So the priority was set on situations that escalete, around the fact that Plonk had to confront his superior.
(I had to edit this comment bc accidentally sended when I wasn't finsihed writting lol)
You are not there yet. Although giving credit for making an 8 minute long film around an already oversaturated topic - which is not easy - I still have to be rather critical about this film. Hope you can take this as a hint for further improvement. It's ok, but you seem stuck in a dead end.
Your approach to comedy is being funny by design, meaning, all movements are accompanied by a (stock) sound, all characters are extreme and purely stereotypical, the topic itself is pushing something commonly uneventful to hilarious excitement, which feels like begging for acceptance. Why chosing comedy as the mood at all?
The story is not presented too well and had lots of unnecessary things in it. I as a viewer had to take quite some effort to understand what is going on, what is important, what not. Only until the exclamation mark I understood what the story was all about. The frame story was unnecessary (as it is the same story twice) and not embedded smoothly. Either just keep the caveman story (which is the story where things happen) or give both stories a unique purpose.
Also, you seem to mix up the meaning of reason and purpose. Reason is why something happends and purpose is what the result of that happening is in the end. What was the reason for the termites, the reason for the boss having a tiger face, the reason for the squid? What was the purpose of the elderly man talking in the doorstep, the porpose of spilling coffee? Nothing came out of these actions, no reaction whatsoever.
The elderly man and also for example the (stock) psychodelic sequence do not add any more insight. Instead of a psychodelic sequence, a simple nightmare with the chasing sequence of the stalactite would have sufficed and be much more effective. Instead of the elderly man, why not make the ink-plant a side-character. It's the most funny sequence when the plant coughs, so why wasting this opportunity?
Drawings are sketchy, which by itself would fit perfectly, but they are so sketchy, it borders on lazyness. There is almost no movement, close to no cycles, all just exaggerated still images with (again) stock animation smears for fighting, drawing, running. Camera is most of the time too close, give the viewer some space, some context. Add some panning. A simple quick zoom out to the stalactites falling down onto people whould be funny by itself.
Having the main character basically comprising of nothing than a beard, two eyes, two hands and two feet doesn't help in getting the mood across. This may sound harsh, but you should say goodbye to this character, it is not developable.
All in all, you are not there yet. Your style seems to be limited, almost deadlocked, maybe you fell into the trap to tap yourself onto your shoulder too early some years ago and are now stuck with the same style since (which happens to lots of artists). You seem to use only a narrow band of your full creativity. Open up for more techniques, more experiments. Review your story telling, it all comes down to the viewer being guided into what you want to express.