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5 stars just for the phrase "Ohio--wherever the fuck that is."
I think that should be the new state motto (DAYTON RE-PRE-SENT!)
Haha! Cons... fairs.. whatevz. I have a funny story, cough cough... I remember this time in my 20's when I went to help my mother at her psychic fair, you know, before she realized they HATED HER GUTS FOR NO REASON. She TOOK my Identification Card and went through the door. The door girl was a clueless rule-thumper, and the old man security guard came over and chewed me out for trying to get in and cursing out the dipshit door-girl like one time under my breath because I had a black-out-inducing headache and could no longer walk straight. I was dressed clean, with a nice blue wig on, a Doctor Who scarf I knitted myself, decent purse, decent shoes, unsuspecting glasses, nothing that would scream SCREW ME I'm A CRIMINAL. Yet... he didn't believe I belonged there, called over another security guard, I was about to DIE of anxiety (I'm autistic) and sheer headache agony-joy and my douche-waffle father just. left. me. to get into the fair. I am 5 seconds away from an 'I'm'a Lose My Shit' catatonic meltdown, the Bitchmistress who is running the fair table right there won't give me a new card (Go look in the car little girl- I have standards!) because she is a Bitchmistress douche-waffle. My mother. FINALLY comes out. and rips her a new one. Dear god I never went back there. That Rent-A-Cop Fucker's probably dead now, HALLELUJAH. Poor bastard. He acted like I was some druggie, I swear to god. This is why I never leave the houseeeee without someone to be with me. I still can't go back. I still have wimpy little nightmares. Pretty sure if I drink I'll be all Battousai.
BIG LOL, breh. Great flash. Con-people, much like the rest of humanity sometimes, are just... not our people. By our I mean you and I are both writers. Not that we know each other, because we don't and never will. ;) Also H.R. Menkel is my spirit animal. Laugh it's funny. Sorry for the novel- my head hurts tonight.
I am also from the fantasy realm of Ohio. Kudos
I can't remember the last time I had to stop playback to wait for my hysterical laughing to pass