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Reviews for "Phantom Reverse #1"

It's an interesting first episode, and I'm engaged enough to want to see more, but you have plenty of room to expand.

I'll admit this now, I'm not the biggest fan of visual novels, so do take what I say with a grain of salt if it comes off as missing the point or anything like that, but even if you decide to do a linear story with small elements of interactivity, you can make those interactive elements much more engaging.

For starters, the choices given in this episode appear, for the most part, minor at best. From whether you try sleeping in or getting up early, to how you react to being attacked by the Crystal Clock being, most of what you can choose quickly loops back to the main story, and doesn't feel too impactful. You don't need to make every choice change the story that much, especially with the episodic format you're following with no sign of any carrying over choices or anything like that, but there is a way to still make your dialogue choices feel important. Have what you say or ask reveal more information, and exclude other bits of information to the player. I have no idea who that kid who saves you is, but I now know what those monsters are called. Having what you gain or lose be information allows you to make the choices feel important without greatly altering the linear narrative.

I would also suggest that you alter the inventory system by not highlighting which item you need to use at which time. Imagine if when the lights in the train go out, you were prompted to use an inventory item, but not told which one was correct. You now need to use the context of the situation to realize you could use your phone as a light. You could even expand scenes like that where using the wrong item results in a quick GAME OVER where a monster gets you because you didn't use the right item. Or at the very least, if the stakes aren't that high when you use an inventory item, a character can make fun of you for picking the wrong item at that time, and then you're given another chance to pick an item.

Little additions like that would push this game a long way, I think. Maybe that's not what you're going for though, and it is meant to be more of a straight forward experience without much pull on the player, but I think if you're going to tell a story involving player engagement, find what things you can do, and go all out with them.

JackAstral responds:

Really nice suggestions, thanks for the detailed review! I definitely might try out your inventory idea... :-D

welp it's kinda good
I hope that ugly ass girl die tho
:)

JackAstral responds:

L O L

Great story, really piqued my interest and I can't say a lot of games do that for me on NG! I'm pretty sure you've got a fan base already growing for this game :)

One thing though... I get that you're going for ambiance, but I can't seem to click the dialogue away faster. Was this intended? Some gamers, I think, read too fast haha (Not sure if it was just me tho)

JackAstral responds:

Thanks! I'll make sure to make text appear faster in a patch ASAP

This is awesome and super creepy. Can't wait to see how it ties in with the other events at New Heart High.

For my first view it looks like you got inspired by Another (Anime)
Where the was the same kind of thing

JackAstral responds:

Not really...what did you think was similar?