Finally! great work dude.
Reviews for "Chaos Girl II; Zone Zero"
STORY, 3 stars
Since this is a visual novel, this is the most important criteria, ergo most detailed.
Development- Overall, the story is pretty cohesive, but rushed. The characters act like they've known each other for a week now, when in fact, they've only known each other for an hour at the most. She's basically a stranger he just saved that killed his best friend for being understandably cautious.
The main character, doesn't pause to question what is happening. He comes from a bullying scenario, to a massacre, to finding out she was witch, to helping break out subjects from a secret holding.... all without pause. He doesn't question what's happening, doesn't hesitate. It could be he's the type to take things in stride or ask-questions-later kind of guy but there should at least some paragraph of how he's reacting to this new information.
Description- Decent enough. I know what's happening, and it paints a clear picture (I like how you describe her face with "dangerous scorn"). Some grammar mistakes here and there ("frightened eyes" rather than "afraid eyes" sounds less awkward) .
Content- (around 3.3 stars) Lots of interesting things happening. Some predictable and cliche (e.g. secret facility housing psychic-like beings. Dangerous subject causing havoc), but it was pulled off alright. I like the part where it describes Shia's face.
-------
ART
Art is nothing remarkable, but it serves it's purpose. Proportions are okay for the most part. So I won't deduct points, but I won't add any either.
-------
THOUGHTS
Overall, I think you're talented, and capable of creating great content in the future. I'm willing to play the sequel in the future. Hopefully, better improved. I am sure you're capable of better.
Awesome Game! Good Job 08jackt
I like how there is still yet no good ending, so as to lead into seriousness of all the choices. But I still think that the game was short, like its prequel, and I think the text took too long to scroll - to remedy this I think it'd be worth attempting to code in an option to skip the animation of text rolling, but keep the text on (if you understand what I mean). There are also quite a few spelling mistakes, but other than that, I look forward to the next.
Pretty cool like the previous installment, it had some grammar flaws here and there but nothing too problematic and the pacing of the story seems to change too quickly (it's still pretty god nonetheless), Ami's too unstable with her emotions, one moment she's caring for the main character's safety and the other she's emotionless and even hates him.
It still has some of the previous game's character designs, it's a shame because i was expecting you to give us some new ones, the art style is pretty nice, the music is alright but hearing it throughout the whole game makes it lose a bit of it's meaning and the story like the last game is interesting and emotional at times.
Looking forward to the last episode of the series, it would be awesome if we had more choices to make than in previous games.
JackAstral responds:
Thanks! I'm uploading a patch now that fixes up a bunch of spelling mistakes. (I always miss tonessss when I proof read :b)
Thank you for the suggestions and the detailed review- I really appreciate it! I'll make sure to include all new character designs in the next chapter, as well as a larger variety of music :)