You have more than a valid point here. What a lot of people are missing (and largely due to the lust for the nuance of digital social life) is reality based, meaningful, social interactions. Yes, that includes real flesh and blood friends and even the half-ways and fakers (posers?) out there. It's all part of the natural growth of a human social experience. We (human beings) need that, and while hiding behind silver screens and daring to blast and share and favorite just anything on a whim, we're seriously beginning to lose the abilities to interact and "read" each other for the communications that aren't words. It's only just beginning to cause dysfunctions.
That said, your drawing style is NOT weak. Don't beat yourself up on a minute point of stylistic approach. There are many very good animators who simply don't worry about using 'refined lines' in much of anything, Technical Dave for instance. So you are working largely with the influence of a 'rougher style' and approach. Fine.
The music was good, but you could've added depth with a few other sounds in the audio, a 'hum-drum-esque' sigh from the girl as she stared out the window... maybe the muffled distant chatter of the two people outside (indicating a story, a joke and laughing, or even an argument) without truly understandable words to make sense of... if that makes sense.
Finally, and it's been said before... the text parts just don't seem to stick around long enough to be easily read. Well, it happens. I'm sure you'll figure out a means to stretch that stuff out. The rest of the short went fluidly, so you're definitely building on your skills as an animator.
The best advice is to take your time. Relax and breathe, and the project will be there tomorrow to get finished. DO NOT EVER rush 'genius'. You are an artist, and good art never comes quick, and quick art is never good. I certainly hope you will consider a revisit to this one in the future (okay, not tomorrow since there are other ideas swirling your head, I'm sure)...
That will give you a chance to watch this one, think about what to build onto it (or if you should scrap the whole animation sequence and start it again from a storyboard) and then put inn the real time to build it as something that will say what you want to say... what you mean to say. In and of itself, that will show you later on down the road, just how far you've really grown. It's a good exercise from time to time. And yes, in case you missed it, I did mention a storyboard to help you keep track of where you are on a project when you have to set it to the proverbial 'back burner' for a while.
For future projects, this advice might just 'bleed' over and help you put in the least adjustments to yourself for the greatest returns and results. I'm just hoping to give constructive in the critique.