There needs to be some leniency because of the time frame, but a few things I'd think about for future pieces:
1. I wouldn't make him so ignorant. It's not appealing, at least not to me, when a character undergoes something that we all saw within the first few seconds;
2. The phone call, I'd give a hint in there of some sort;
3. One interesting thing was when his whole head opens to express boredom. I'd like to see more interesting things like this;
4. Voice acting was not bad at all;
5. Areas like overlap and extreme stretch in the hand at the elevator seem inconsistent;
6. If there was no director, I'd recommend having one for consistency's sake;
7. Overall, a decent piece given the time frame.
Hope that is useful!