waiting for the day you use video files
Reviews for "On the John"
Great setup, smooth animation, and GREAT style btw...really efficient for animation and it looks good to the eye.
So...right, like I said, great setup. You're establishing a situation we can all relate to, one that had tons of different ways that it could go, and it was building to a punchline that unfortunately went nowhere.
The guy fidgeting with the door glumly says. "Oh, that was you? Sorry."
And our main guy just gives him an annoyed look, replying "...Yeah..."
.....lonnnng muffled sharting noise....
....ehh..."badum-tsh?" Is that the payoff? I mean, its a neat little short, but that ending kinda left me feeling a bit empty. It would've been funnier if the guy trying to get in was really pushy, and just drop-kicked the door, so we had this awkward and frantic sort of slapstick while these guys fought over who gets to shit on the throne.
But he just...he just sat there. There was a moment where he's just holding in the door handle, and then our main guy yells at this poor idiot...and that's it. Not a whole there.
You could've made the intruder a pervert.
You could've made the intruder an oblivious little boy, so he stupidly, stubbornly keeps trying for the door, and the main guy can't get too pissed at him because his father is this massive, angry looking dude just outside.
Hell, you could've made the intruder an old man, and the main guy has to waddle his way into the girls room, and MORE antics happen there and, look- the point I'm trying to make is ANYTHING could've worked to make this flash stand out more. Stick to our memories a little more solid and keep the laughs coming...everything up to that point was solid, and I really wanted to like the WHOLE flash. But I can't vote highly on it BECAUSE of the lackluster payoff.
Emrox responds:
Haha I totally see what you mean, dude. I've never been good at endings. To be honest, I changed the end maybe five times before I decided to just go with my gut and use the first idea. But maybe that was a bad choice- I dunno. Thanks for the in-depth review, though! It's awesome to see people taking time out of their day 'cause they genuinely want to help <3
It was a good flash, animation was great, so was the voicing, I think the ending could have been better, but that's just me
Everything was flawless except the story. The story ended abruptly and was expecting more. However you did a good job and I am can't until your next peice of work.
The animation was alright, and the joke was okay too, but I feel like the style is a bit forced. Oh well, maybe next time you'll hit the note a little better, yeah?