Reviews for "Shattered Heaven Ep. 1"

subtitles please

Wow! Did I just spot Xin and Hanto!? Nice! XD

AdamTilford responds:

Lol, yeah. I'm friends with their voice actors. They actually did the extras in the episode and will be appearing later on in the series as actual characters.

14mins jeez this must've taken forever

This could shape up to be a really good series. It reminds me of gundam seed. The voice actors are pretty good. My only recommendations to make it better would be to study human proportion more. Everybody else has said the same things

It's got potential, just take your time and gradually step up the art game. If you're doing anime style pay attention to the proportion of facial feature/ and bodys and make sure when you're doing pose to pose that all the key poses are solid. Don't be afraid of getting detail into the characters. That said I can't wait to see the next one!

AdamTilford responds:

Haha, it took 6 months. I'm choosing getting the story out over higher quality. As I go, the quality will definitely increase as I'll become more accustomed with the style and balancing it between work and writing books and such. The plan is to get some animator help, background artists cause I hate backgrounds >_>, etc, etc.

Glad you enjoyed it so far. :)

I agree with some of the other comments, I'd like to know my characters before I'm flooded with more, but either way I think this is off to a decent start. I wont comment on the art because if you're working on it and improving there is nothing I have to say. The character Mike's voice makes me laugh but it starts to bother me as much as Yugi's voice did after hearing him for a while, but I wouldn't want it changed because his voice and way of speaking does make him unique in terms of speech, but it can be toned down a little bit, at times. Another thing about the characters is that I'd like to see some character development later on in the story. This sure as hell does have potential, and y'know, I've always been kind of a mech guy so I'll definetely continue to watch this :P. Keep working hard, I want to see a dramatic story, epic fights and tragic deaths. By the way the ending of this kind of reminded me of Gundam Seed, especially the outfits the people had on in the last picture.

AdamTilford responds:

There will be tragic stuff. I just didn't want to start out with all of that. Kinda wanted to show the main character now as unassuming and then you can see his growth. I suppose it could be comparable to Seed's endings, but I really came up with what I wanted to do out of nowhere. Probably could have been subconsciously inspired by Seed but it wasnt a direct intent. Characters get cut down in the following so it's more focused. Should have done that to begin with but oops

Regardless for my distaste of how the review and critic was handled by Kage-IchihashiKage-Ichihashi, she did make a few valid points regarding your work but it's not what was said but how she stated it I disliked and sounding like an ass gets you no where. Anyway dude keep up the work, do for the love of god fix those lines and work on perspectives and 90% of what she stated unfortunately is true. Raise the bar, make your project unique claim it as your own as so far you have not claimed it and it seems to lack that AHHH DAYUM! feeling. It definitely lacks depth and it's not because you are lazy as this is 15 minutes of animation but there are many tricks to doing that with lighting. I love the narrator and the various character-voice actors. Then again this is not a huge or high budget so I understand that you are working within the limits of your constraints. The one thing I can definitely state is that the voices is much better than 90% of the anime dubs out there.
Unfortunately being an animator and artist it's hard to not get distracted by the perspective and some level of details with depth and character designs, but I did take a look at your profile post regarding being a writer and not being an artist/animator so I will leave it at that. Don't forget you are a creator now so strive to be better and you will be able to do it, don't make excuses. Note to you from me I was never a programmer but I made a game and I don't use the line well I am not a programmer so it's not that great, my statement is I am not a programmer so I will try my best to be better through levels of progress. Anyway dude keep at it I want to see where this goes.

AdamTilford responds:

The art style and lines is an ongoing process. It really is, I've been improving since when I first started and I'll continue as such. So that's not really a problem. The uniqueness, yeah, I can't really say much about it since it's hard to judge a full story on a single snippet. Most people don't review books based on only one chapter and then say it lacks themes, etc, etc. Mainly because things develop over time. No author I know exposes everything immediately. I don't get why people judge/assume to know the story's full theme based on 1 installment. Seems premature really. Just something I've noticed with pretty much every web series so it's more of a general statement I'm making. Like I said in the description, I'm converting my book into an animation. So I'm still a bit "off" when it comes to episodic things. With a book it's straight forward, you have the initial chapter where maybe not a lot happens but you read the next chapter and it's easier to judge the whole thing completely. I actually spoke with some people before doing the first episode, I wasn't sure if I wanted to start the series off at the point in the book where the story/plot really takes off and then do a flash back to show how their life was before the shift. The majority of people told me to keep it chronologically and to have the audience experience it with the character. I could have done it better, clearly. What I was aiming for with the first few episodes is to show the unassuming/laid back/not deep portion of their lives and then have that as the contrast for when they're abruptly introduced to how the world really is. There is a lot of depth and meaning and themes in the book, it's just not shown yet because of how I chose to start it off. A lot about the world is left in the dark for a reason. I wanted to have characters there who do know what's going on and use them as foreshadowing with some lines that may seem unassuming but when the shift happens people can see "oh, that's what was meant." Again, could have done that better. I actually didn't realize most of the names weren't even mentioned until I started mixing it. At that point I just said to hell with it and moved to finish the episode. I actually was looking for a voice director early on, I had someone but something came up. Not that this is an excuse, but I work full time and have a lot of shit going on in life so ultimately I wasn't really in some "let's be creative, happy" state. I was really stringing along, depressed and working on this was the only thing really keeping me going. I've been aware of the flaws, the voice direction being big, the slowness of the first episode, too many characters shown at first. Pretty much all of that was adjusted with the 2nd episode. Since it's based on my book, I already know what's going on and the scripts are done in bulk.

I can't really look back anymore, I'm overall happy with what I put out, this being the first thing I've completed since 2011. And when looking back at those, I know I've improved and I have listened to a lot of critiques and people helped me improve. But I'm not "satisfied" with this episode and I know there's things I could have done better, but it's best to just move on to the next one and implement them there. To sound selfish, I needed this finished and put out for myself, it was a testament that I could finish it and get through the life issues that were making it difficult to work. Working on this after a 9-5, staying up til about 3, maybe getting 4 hours of sleep. Now that it's out, it's a bit easier to get people to help out. I've always preferred to get people on board, but at the time, it wasn't happening, whether due to scheduling issues or other things. If this was something where I had an endless amount of time, then yeah, I'd spend a shit load more time upping the individual quality of character depths and designs, but I don't. So I have to balance my time with what I can manage and still finish things. Naturally, as time goes on, they will be improved, but I don't want people expecting a big jump from this to the next episode.

I take all criticism and look to use it to improve. But like you mentioned, I was a bit disappointed in how rude some reviews have been. I give a lot of critiques to people as well, and the one thing that's obvious is that there's the right way to do it and then there's just a demeaning and insulting way. And when you do it that way, no one takes half of what you say with any merit. But ignoring the negative and really insulting reviews, I've been rather surprised at the support and that there are people who do enjoy it, and the ones who did leave honest critiques are still looking forward to seeing it improve, not just writing it off as"this is shit." So that's appreciated.

All I can really say at the end of it, is that I'm not satisfied with this episode, I've been aware of the flaws and I am working to make them not an issue going forward. I actually feel a lot more confident about this after getting this out and working on something with an actual level of confidence as opposed to depression and trying to ignore certain things, is going to make a ridiculous difference. I hope that I do make noticeable improvements going forward.