I couldn't stop shaking throughout the whole game after the first time she beckoned me "Closer". Geez, it was like a moment of Closer by Ne-Yo. Only, not sexy.
Here're a few tips for other first-timers in this game.
#1: Get ready for screwin' the space bar real fast after the revelation that she has the H.
#2: When the drinking bar is in your way, jump, duh. When the geyser comes shootin', just be patient and give it a few seconds of waitin'.
#3: It's like Cross-the-Road frog thing, only, you gotta' get to your car, and BE PREPARED to run back with the madwoman in the road like a juggernaut getting every vehicle out of her way like a Goddess. Only, not sexy.
#4: Get your keys, scram. Oh, screw the space bar some more here.
#5: Don't worry, she won't let you go that easily. You'll have to avoid the ... weird purple hearts she shoots at your way after some time of just trying not to be run over.
#6: Then she utilizes this mega pincher thing that you have No. Way. Of. Avoiding. Cue to harass the space bar key.
#7: Cutscene, Judge Judy appears, robo vers. Here's what I answered [SPOILERS ALERT] No guilty; She has Herpes; No! She chased me!; HELL NO [END OF SPOILERS ALERT]
I was a free man at last. But I still can't stop shaking as I type this. Ewgh ...
4 Stars for the Potential Nightmare.
3.5 Stars for Gameplay (nothing special if you ignore the story).
5 Stars for Storyline (I refuse to believe such scarring event is real).
3 Stars for Art (your typical stickman with a face).
Overall Grading: 3.5 Stars