Is this some sort of in-joke?
I've got so many complaints I don't know how to order them. The only good audio was the scientist's voiceacting. All other audio was piss, either in quality or execution. I shouldn't have to sit through the stoners' lines every goddamn time I see them. The graphics were shit with a side of uncanny valley.
The pacing was horrible and there was almost no motivation to anything, much less direction on how to get from A to B with the exception of the jock, whom I have no reason to obey, and the liquor store owner. Come to think of it, there was nothing connecting the vagina monster to the scientist, so... I guess Jake just gets into random fights? If it wasn't for the terribly scripted and trite opening monologue, nothing would make sense.
The fighting was terrible. First off, it was inconsistent. You probably screwed yourself by writing two separate types of fighting game, and both were pretty bad. It was difficult when to tell when Richard was in range, and the uncharged attack was useless there. For the other two, it was impossible to dodge effectively since you did shoddy work on collision detection. This game style should have had two hit boxes, high and low, and the attacks should only have aimed for them, instead of using collision detection on the shapes of the characters. Because of this, the angular attacks hit me even when I was dodging, and also when the enemy withdrew from an attack. Since there was no [obvious] low attack, both special attacks were mostly useless, especially since the rocket launcher did so little damage on its own. Invisible hit boxes are your friend here.
For object detection, you should have used a simpler schematic. It took me forever to find the wrench because the buttons were so small. The whole dresser should have been a button, as well as the doors being buttons instead of just the knobs. I like the feedback from the locked doors, but did you really have to make every locker functional? Just because you can copy and paste doesn't mean you should. You probably could have saved a bunch of space without those and the other useless things. That said, the people all need more constructive feedback.
I guess that's all for now.