Reviews for Dual Arms Verbatim Part 1

[zbox101]

Superb

Before I start, I want to explain your rating here, and what I voted. I voted 5/5, but I want to give you a 6/10 star rating. I gave you a 10/10 because of the quality of the flash compared to others on this site, and because it affects your status rating overall. However, My rating to you is 6/10, because I expect a lot more of you than what you displayed by this flash.

Animation: Possibly the best aspect of this flash. From the 3D models to the 2D characters, you did a bang up job. But this is one of the things I expected more from... you failed to make everything realistic. I realize this is unfair to expect from you and the flash upload is already 18 MB, but I know you could do better. Hair doesn't flow or move, clothes are rigid, the environment isn't smooth flowing, etc.

Concept: It is as awesome as it is complex, this can be an entire series and may very well deserve its own collection. Your overview and character design is virtually flawless and in depth, your story telling skills could use SOME improvement but whose doesn't? Work out the kinks with other writers, and this may have the potential to go on the air itself.

Audio: This is your most lacking feature. I suggest working with a professional mixer or one of the better people on NG. Your characters voices are inconsistent and conflict with the music. But don't get me wrong, you still did a very great job, I'm still holding you to a higher standard. Honestly, your voices and sound effects were still good.

Music: Great selection, I'm always a big fan of instrumentals, but you used them so well in combination with your shots that they made emotional impacts of suspense and intensity, even though your content was significantly less impactful.

Content: Outstanding. You have created universes with their own histories, and can easily immerse the viewer into these worlds. However, you are missing a pause button. Ironically, I needed that upon my first viewing. You are also missing a link to your trailer, a story board, and other things you did while conceptualizing and making this thing.

Shot selection: This is the ONE SECTION I went easy on you. I disagree with some of your choices, such as your mini strobes and your scene merging. You did an excellent job of these, but I don't feel it 100% appropriate for your story. It somewhat weakened your story in some areas but helped it flow in others. Remember, the camera is focused on what you want the viewer to see.

Graphics: This was so good, you need a graphics section. To go in depth, your 3D models were impressive for flash, but you must know they can be improved upon. They look too blockish and bulky. If you spend more time on them, you can make them look really awesome.

Characters: From their personality to their design, each one is unique and has their own story one can get interested in. The most amazing thing you did was not animate, not create a sound track, not even make an amazing flash. What you did here, was beyond praise... you took characters in which the story focused each of them as anonymous and meaningless and made them blend with each other and made it so each one tells a story. You did what the greatest of writers can only strive to do, you made these nonexistent figments of your imagination matter, and in a subtle way.

Closing statements: If you would like a more in depth review, PM me and from that point on I'll see what else I can give you in terms of advice. I'm looking forward to your next one.

RPGsrok responds:

Rating a 10 though you mean a 6 is extremely considerate of you, and I appreciate it greatly. To respond piece by piece:

I did spend a lot of time on my animation, and it took a damn long time to get this far. Smoothing things out is something I could do; it just takes a lot of time and effort and for the most part I was the only person animating on this project, so my ability to go and do details like that and still finish even by now was limited. I'm only partially sure of what you mean by smooth flowing environments, so I can't really address that.

Again, the script is 2 years old, but I've been constantly refining the world mechanics and I'm quite proud of how it's turned out. I'd certainly like to find some other people to smooth things out with though.

Audio has always been a concern for me, throughout all my movies really. I didn't realize there were people on NG who would do mixing and I've never been involved in that sort of collaboration, but as you noted, my mixing work is rather lacking, and I'm not afraid to admit it. I personally thought I could do better with sound effects though I also thought several of my actors did very good work.

Dunno what the content impactful thing is alluding to, thought I'm glad you liked the music. Honestly I've been drifting towards wanting an original composer and one person actually offered to do so for me, so my next movie may have the good fortune to use an original soundtrack!

I could certainly add a pause button; I hadn't thought to. There are surprisingly few storyboards from this project, though there is a good bit of concept art. It would jack up the filesize though. I may add a link to the trailer in a future version.

Shot selection I've never formally studied, so it's hard for me to discuss your complaints; I just did what felt right.

I personally attribute much of what made the characters work to the actors who portrayed them. My animation was very lacking and the models are rather inconsistant, to say nothing of the script they had to work with, but some very talented people really made these into people, and I can't express my thanks to them enough.

I would certainly like to discuss this more, but before that I must say that this is probably the most useful and courteous review I've ever had the pleasure of reading. Thank you very much for watching, and I hope to discuss the next one with you soon!

[starmon00]

10!

Amazing sculptures, they look really legit
Graphics are completely awsome
Background designs are the best i've seen so far
Music and also sync'd as well :)

10 stars :D

RPGsrok responds:

Glad u liked it, thx for reviewing.

[IEatBabies]

Amazing Effort.

This is an amazing effort and perspiration is 100% what it takes to become great at anything. :) I'm super impressed by the amount of effort that you put into this, particularly the graphics I've noticed.

Nice work, decent art, dialogue isn't bad. Some of the writing could be tweaked, just some of the generic-isms. You must be a Star Wars fan? Or perhaps Dune? X)

But, one BIG issue with this, I would take it down and post in the forums that you want GOOD voice actors to do your work with you. Because you spent SO long on this amazing piece that the voice acting in it cheapens it greatly.

Now this is where most peoples PRIDE get's in the way, 'the voice acting is fine', 'actually I promised a friend he'd do it, I think he did an alright job', blah blah blah I've heard it all before an voices make a HUGE difference. Get some sound guys to help you with soundfx but most important GET a GOOD voice actor(s) because throughout most of this I heard a very young boy/teen/almost man doing several voices, and its most likely you, and he's a TERRIBLE voice actor.

Most people after putting so much time into something don't want anything more to do with it, I know, but what's a tiny bit more time to the quality of your work?

Well I don't know what you're like but if you really worked this hard on something I'm willing bet you have the humility not to be prideful and to recognize that a tiny bit more time with some good voice acting would boost this into the sky! :D

And I'd also like to offer my help with some artwork if you're ever doing another film cause I think you have great potential and I love a guy that works hard. I mean, the time you actually put into this speaks loads about you an disciplined patience is really the rarest gift of all the one the key ones to making it in animation I'll bet. Great stuff! And good luck in your future en devours!

RPGsrok responds:

Frankly this script was done two years ago and I continue to be impressed by how much you guys like the dialogue. I do like me some original trilogy, but all I ever saw of Dune was one of the Scifi Channel adaptations. I like to say I take most of my inspiration from certain well done anime, though nothing in particular springs to mind atm.

I'd like to say it wasn't really pride, but for whatever reason I do think several of the voice actors did good jobs. I am also proud to say that I only contributed two very very minor roles and so for once, I resisted putting myself in a main part. I do agree that there were two people I knew on this project who I felt reluctant to just throw out despite the voice quality (I thought the acting was ok) and one actor I didn't know personally whose performance and quality could've used some cleaning up. You're absolutely right I want no more to do with this, but I also think it's just a touch disrespectful to just replace their voices.

Notably I respectfully say that you are hearing things; if you look in the credits, the only duplicate roles are the extras which really only have some lines in the first scenes. You'd hafta pm me to get the details on who did what, but I assure you no one actor was doing a lot of things throughout (and as I said before, it certainly wasn't me).

I hope you understand my opinions on my actors. There were some I was dissatisfied with, and some I believe were very well done. I think you should also consider that my knowledge of sound design is pathetically limited and bad sound quality may indeed have detracted from some of the acting.

Art-wise I'm pretty good on my own, but if you would like to assist me with the animation itself, that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reviewing and please look forward to my next work!