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Reviews for "The Paper Prince"

From a viewers perspective

Solid worke and good story, but still a few problems:

I was really missing the music here, since there was no dialog or anything, to make the charakters fealings more evident. I know that this is a problem, mainly because of the copyrights, but since you're here on newgrounds, it might be possible to find someone to make it for you. Just ask, they won't bite. Music is always a good way to make things interesting and to indicate changes in mood or situation, like danger, lack of time or catharsis.

The scenes are thought out verry well, but still you leave to much space between the actions, making it unnecessary long. People are impatient. Always remember that.

A real problem was the text. I could barely read it in the time given. But don't give me more time to read. Either shorten the text to the essential message or make a cut and slap the most importent sentence right into my face.
You used the camerea and cuts pretty well to lead the attention, but you should use that even more.

This one might be a matter of personal flavour but a side profile long shot still isn't a good framing. I know it's alluring, since you can show a lot of things with it at one time, but still, it looks horrible. Think of tv sows or movies. It's pretty rare to see a side provile longshot. Most of the time they use a wedged knee shot and cut to a closeup, if they want to show something in particualr.
So, try to do more cuts and maybe even use focus to lead the viewers attention.

What I missed the most was a pause button. If you make somethint this long, give me a way to pause it. I don't want to watch it all over, when I need to answer the phone or get the door.

So on the whole, solid animation and good writing. For a start it's pretty good. If you want to improve on film making, read a little bit about camera angles and watch your favourite films while looking at these kind of things.
If you want to improve on writing, read books about script writing. I recommend Robert McKee's "Story". It's a good book, which is sometimes pretty tough to read, but it covers up all the important things you need to know about script writing.

So, good luck for the festival. You really have some potential.

greetz

Zeph

p.s. I hope you guys excuse my bad orthography and grammer, but at the moment I have absolutely no neves to proofread this. I'll try harder, nest time. I promise.

Excellent work

Very original and your style is very agreeable, I think you can do well at the film festival with this. My only suggestion would be more background ambiance and sound quality. I know you couldn't make it a MP3 file but increasing your sound quality would definitely give you better feedback in my opinion, and you could increase background effects, especially during the "rock and paper" fight to emphasize the action. On the whole, smashing job mate! ... and btw, Eddies an idiot.

Rework

characters and scaling. Style shifts drastically throughout. Plot is worthy.
Needs more elements, footholds, landmarks to vary the plot.

Ratchet up the camera changes or cut them down wile considering camera placement in a scene. Consider a comic book when are scetching out a scene, with the dynamic angles.

Put some time into developing the characters as well as their looks. The main character lacks characteristics that make him unique. Remind yourself that he's an exemplary employee in his company. He should look and act the part (maybe less nerdy and befuddled). Or you could really play those traits up to the hilt and thus push the elements in the story to show that he really doesn't belong (there's already more than enough of this).

If he's the anti to this caricature it would be better to have the story point out the disappointment he feels in his job as well his dislike of his coworkers in their 2 dimensional nature. It would be more surprising then to discover his hobby and that this achiever is unhappy being successful.

Right now some of things I brought up are there but it's a mixed bag I think. As a thinker and a dweeb he doesn't seem like the kind of person to make employee of the month.

Funny and impressive

What a nice flash... and very true. It shows how important is to pursue your dreams.

Very nice

When I was watching this I thought I was seeing someone's thesis film for their senior year in college. For you to be 18 and already dishing out quality that many college seniors can't achieve on their own is remarkable. You'll do fine. You're only crime is that the story is pretty average story for a professional short film.
I'm very confident you will get an award for this. Submit to as many film festivals as you can!

My only request if you are going to pursue animation as a career: Realize not many will have already exercised animation on their own when you enter a college and will take a while to learn what you have already. Be helpful and available to you're peers, You have a lot to offer :3