A poor first attempt, but keep trying
For your first attempt, a result like this is to be expected. Be proud, you've done better than some long-timers I've seen. Don't give up, you'll get better with practice. Wow... I suddenly feel like such a huge hippocrit xD.
I'll have to judge this against the same standards as everyone else, so please don't take the low score the wrong way. Keep trying man.