thats a first
i like the ending, it could use a visual aid though
Reviews for "A Poem"
umm could we stop the rhyming??
ok nice idea.. but poems do NOT have to rhyme!! (hint hint!!!)
I believe there is a place for poetry and stuff on newgrounds, but i think you'll find that anything deep and meaningful on newgrounds is either a little abstract, or awesome graphics or both.
I think the idea of a flash poem on newgrounds has potential, but good poetry is not a bunch of words that rhyme. sure they make sense, but poetry is about imagery and using all of the senses and stuff. this is about as meaningful as
"he was oh so fat
oh old mr cat
he just jumps in the tree
and meows with glee
but not with much success
as he was wearing a dress
and he was oh so fat
old mr cat"
heh maybe i should do a flash heheh
i will forgive you for the poetry cause you are a young'un but the flash i cannot...
sorry sweetie..
Again, this doesn't belong here.
Sigh.. this doesn't belong here, Oats. THis is not the place to put an emotional flash text poem. If you want to make more flash poetry, then put some images in. I disagree with the guy below. Newgrounds should be more than welcome to artsy movies as long as it has good graphics, sound, and plot. Violence isn't ALWAYS necessary. You have a plot, but you need more of the other two. At the very least, put symbolic images in with the text. A red rose to symbolize the relationship, maybe wilt it away when you break up, and use tears. Show a gun and have it fire when the gunshot can be heard. End it with blood running down the screen, or write "THE END" in blood. These are just examples. With proper graphics and sound, I'm sure even Newgrounds could be captivated by serious poetry.
Great Poem: Better Graphics Needed
The poem is great; it portrays life and how most of the time, when people are young, they fall for something, but few realize that the moment you say "yea, ok, lets go out", this guarentees that you'll hear "I don't want to see you again" sooner or later. It can be in one day, one week, one month, or a year, or more, but it's gonna happen soomer or later.
What I'm trying to say that this is a wonderful poem, but better graphics are needed, and the sound effects are not the best quality. But overall, this is good.
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this was retarded, it was obvious that he was dying for a rhyme scheme, this sucked. if the objective of this was to waste my time, then at least it met its goal. never submit shit like this again...