Once upon a time, there was a fat kingdom called Hyrule. Everything was peaceful in Hyrule until one day a cold creature called Penumbra attacked. Penumbra had the leg of a/an bird and the face of a/an cat. He destroyed the whole kingdom and took the princess hostage. It was up to one retarded knight to save Hyrule, and that knight's name was Shadow. As soon as Shadow heard that the kingdom was being attacked, he got his lucky black armor and started riding his dog to Penumbra's lair. He took his fast staff and destroyed the beast's foot. The beast screamed bitch!!! And then killed at Shadow almost killing him. Shadow used his last bit of energy to spin Penumbra away. Thanks to Shadow, the kingdom of Hyrule was saved and Shadow and the princess lived happily ever after.