Good story... Great audio quality/synch. too
If there was a ranking for story I would've given you an 8 on that. Since there is not, I added 2 to the overall of 5 I would've given.
Sprite movies are always a dicey proposition. The biggest thing is to keep everything looking pixelated except the faces/avatars that appear next to the text boxes when characters are speaking.
In example: I could see all the hard work that went into the choreography of the 'soccer' match (Very nice work BTW) but the ball was smooth/vectorized as were the shield/barrier effects during the game. There were a few backgrounds that were offenders too.
I know this sounds like nitpicking, but it really makes a difference, and this story and the style you're telling it in has so much potential that I guess that I really want to see it come out.
I would be glad to help if asked to pixelate any vector items for you that you wind up with in the next installment. My own debut movie for NG in still only 50% complete and being worked on every day, but something to break the monotony would be welcome.
I hope I didn't offend, because I didn't write this with that intention.
(P.S. I know that sprite movies aren't as easy as they look, I might even try one myself just to get a first hand taste of what it's like. Perhaps you could give ME some pointers some time... GoodLuck!)