Where is Fenix?! Dead? Noooooo!
Hmm, that rating seemed less harsh in my head.
First, I love StarCraft and it pains me that the novels and all spin-off ventures are weak efforts when compared to the game itself. New StarCraft works make me foam at the mouth, but I'm usually disappointed as always, explaining why I'm so harsh with the score.
Ignoring my fanaticism completely, there are some basic artistic issues with the flash series. First of all I am confused by the mech and ship design: I seem to recall the first episode being rendered with a 3D program, so why aren't there any models in this one? The shots of the Battlecruisers and Carriers were all from the front or side like most flashes (although there was a third dimension on some that flew past the camera). Why can't you rotate them a bit, or have a proper dogfight between Wraiths and Scouts? Spaceships are what Swift 3D was built for, so crack it open and lets see some awesome fight scenes.
The first fight was also like other flash fights in that it was slow, jerky, from confusing angles, easy to lose track of, and all drama disappeared when what should have been an impressive move jumping onto a Zealot looked awkward. The Zealot fight was just as tiresome: This Hydralisks were particularly menacing, they just kind of tweened toward the Zealot and mysterious died as he tweened through the air.
Flash ability aside, the drama lacked. The flash opened up into a weird looking sequence with the Ghost and Zealot, so from the beginning you didn't capture my interest. Following that was a huge chunk of exposition, you even admit it was exposition, because you stuck a button in the corner to skip it. You should never have an option like that, story adds drama, which heightens the tension in the fight scenes, so if you are aiming for an all out fight, which it seems that you are, have a more inventive way to insert exposition, rather then stopping the animation for a few minutes to have some expressionless Protoss explain the story.
Onto the universe itself. After the characters leave the first planet they talk to a general standing next to some turrets talking crap at his subordinates. The general doesn't move and besides the people in the background it didn't seem like a base at all. Have him doing something, and establish the scene more thoroughly than showing a really badly drawn stream (sorry, but that stream was so bad). During the battle itself I didn't get any sense of the stakes, what were the Protoss trying to achieve, where did those Battlecruisers come from, and why was the creature suddenly infested?
Now I get to rant about StarCraft! Why were the Marines New Zealanders? Where's the redneck grunt that we all fell in love with? That Ghost wasn't awesome enough! Marines aren't pilots, they're soldiers! What happened to the Dominion, the Directorate, is Kerrigan still around? Where the hell are Jim Raynor and Zeratul, I can forgive you for leaving Fenix out seeing he's dead, but not Jimmy! Basically, what I'm saying is the world it too small and you're leaving out elements that made StarCraft cool. The robot was a swing and a miss, we'll have to wait and see how this Zerg T-rex will turn out.
I look forward to the next one. Hopefully you can glean some advice from my nonsensical ramblings and make the flash as great as StarCraft should be.
P.S. Get a better script, the admiral apologises for his "timeliness"? Is he apologising for turning up at the right moment. There are other mistakes like that, but I can't find more since there is no chapter select screen.