Needs to be recorded better.
Well the recording just isnt done very well. You deserve better recording equipment. i can hear you sniffing in the recording and stepping on the pedals in the song. I can not fully feel the full intention of what this song meant to show, as it is not deep enough.
Go invest in your emotions and pay someone, or get someone who will let you record for free, and record this using a nice recording studio set up! Thheeennnn it will be PERFECT.