This is quite good, however the word/orders should be tilted with her head as the way it is now her orders are always cocked to the side in her vision. The way H.U.D. tech is supposed to work is that there is a 'top' and a 'bottom' which the HUD follows, typically these top and bottom is the top and bottom of the helmet, ect.
The image is nearly perfect, its just the words that really annoy me.