Reviews for "Cyrptic Temple"

My story.

On the hill, a temple, very old and what seems abandoned, I look to it and I stare endlessly, then I see something happening which I can't explain, a shrouded figure points his finger at me, almost wanting me to come to him. I don't want to, but I have to, due to some dark forces surrounding this curious case.. I walk towards the temple, the shrouded figure suddenly gone, then I look into the temple.
As I walk in, I take a good look around, seeing charred, mutilated bodies and ripped-off body parts, I get freaked out by this but decide to walk in further as I am too curious for my sake. While I walk in, the door slams shut behind me, startling me. Yet I refuse to give up.. Dark thoughts come into my mind with every step I take deeper into this god forsaken place. While I am too busy with placing the thoughts, I stumble upon something unusual, a survivor, a woman with big wounds on her legs, appearing to be made by a claw of some sort.
The woman begins to talk to me, slowly, very lightly: " Don't let it get to you.. it's the worst thing I ever saw in my life, it.." -The woman begins to bleed more heavily with the moment- " has a dark armour, yet the being itself... is nothing.. and everything. But it has a weakness.. the only weapon that can be used against it is-.." The woman passes out, then to realise she has fallen to her wounds, and begins to rot immedeatly. Something very strange is happening here, but I decide to walk further. I stumble upon another thing.. a hide, from the thing, and a half-decayed man with a knife in his hand. I touch the hide from this.. thing, feeling vaguely unnatural, yet familiar. I decide to keep it and walk further, then to stumble upon a cellar door. I open it and a foul scent of death, rot, decay and ashes comes out of it. I slowly decend to the inner part of the temple, just to look around me, seeing bodies of fallen priests, yet you can only see that from a necklace with a cross attached to it and the priestly gowns, the rest is beyond recognition. The meat ripped from the bone, big bites in the flesh, alot of blood on the cold stones below me. I get freaked out, yet I walk on.. and in the inner sanctum, I see it, the thing, feasting upon the high priest. I think that this has gone completely out of hand, and try to walk away sneakingly, yet the thing turns around and speaks with a dark, hollow voice: "Your curiosity appears to be your biggest problem, and your mortal life will soon come to an end." I turn around and look at the thing, the room filled with the fallen spirits, the woman that spoke to me earlier stands beside me. The only thing I hear.. "Hope.. Hope..." I try to realise what they mean, as the thing comes towards me and spreads it's wings, the beak further open than normal, the claws ready to attack and the black eyes filled with but one thing, the scent of another dead to give him powers. I suddenly come to the conclusion.. The weapon, it is faith! Have faith in everything that is good, to have faith.. that the forces of evil will be vanquished. So I fall to my knees, I begin to pray, beginning to have faith in the end of this god forsaken thing. The spirits begin to affect whatever that thing's soul has left inside it, ripping it even more apart. The thing begins to take a peg back or two.. then stops and falls to the ground, screaming in agony. Then it lets out a loud roar before lying down, utterly defeaten. I make a sigh of relief, but the roar has maken the temple trembling, seeing the current state, I would have but two minutes to get out... I quickly run out, ascending the cellar to the, where used to be charred and mutilated bodies, are now gone, and the door is open, I run towards it, going out the temple and fall to the ground, heavily breathing and look behind me, the temple collapsing. I stand up and want to begin walking, but something taps me on my shoulder. I look over it scared and see the woman. "We can now rest in peace.. yet your job is not yet done.." The woman disappears and I stand there.. wondering.

punk7890 responds:

I simply cannot explain how awesome this story is in words! Thanks for the wonderful story. I read the hole thing, completely amazed.

I hope to hear more stories from you! :)

my story.

walking down a hall full of dead hazmat soldiers armed with a squad of more hazmat.walking to the elevator we press a button and it comes down. the door opens and blood is everywhere with words on the wall written in blood 'GOD HELP ME!' we look up and the emergency shaft is broken open,we look up and see 6 glowing sharp eyes stare back at us and we start to aim our guns as it descends. as we do all lights go out i open fire and for a second lights go back on and i see them all dead. then the lights go back on.i look around and all i see infront of me is my death. the lights go back out as i scream dying.
thats meh story tell me how much you liked it.

my story

A satanistic cult has taken over most of earth and my family and I are hideing at home. Most of our friends and nehbors are hideing also. All we have is at least a weeks worth of suplise.Tops. We also have a small radio. we listen to it every day hopeing that good news would show,but that hope left when we listend one day.
*crackle* Cult has taken out Australia! no sighns of local life! *crackle* The government has also fallen ann and...whos that? who the hell?! How did he get in?!
How...What are you doeing?! leave me alone!! Leave-OH LORD!! AAAGGHH!!! *craaccckkllee* Radio dies. we hide out hearing the sound of the cults above our heads we even hear a body hit the floor every now and then.Our rations are gone. We start starveing.My mother starts getting ill and I know that she will get worse due to the fact that where in our basement with the rats wich we eat in despratness.The cult goes qwiet for a few days. We deside to go to the Mildred family to check up on them and see if thier alive. When we get to the house we knoe instantly that they did not survive. Mr.Mildred's corpse was mutilated and riped apart to the point where we hardly reconized him. We found bits and pieces of Ms.Mildred scatterd acros the yard. The door is busted down and we smell a roten stench come from inside. We go in and see that the children where not lucky either they had been stabed in the hearts and one was even riped in half! We desided that we need to take thier suplise.So we did. And not to soon because the second we closed the basement doorthe sounds of the cult returned. My mother has died from her illnes. At this point my brother grabs a machete and a pistol and tells us hes going to kill the cult. My bro may be the most athletic of the group but stil I think its the worst idea ever and I try to stop him but he slams the basement door shut and he puts something over it so the cult dosent see it. For a while we hear gunshots and slashes. I get up to join him thinking he could use help when sudenly he screams. I wach as his blood drips down into the basement. My sister pukes at the sightand then thiers a sound above. the sounds of our nehbors houses being broken into. the sounds of people screaming.the sounds of children crying.the sounds of limbs being riped apart.And the sounds of bodies being stabed into. then we hear the door of our basement get pounded on. an arm bursts through but it dosent look like a human arm. then finaly the door gives way and the cult pours in. But they werent a cult. They wher demons. Every one is riped apart mercilesly as more and more come in until finaly im all thats left. I know that im all thats left. I look to my left and grab a shotgun and looked to my right and grabed the hacksaw. I knew that I might as well go down fighting. and thats hen the fun really began. >:D

tell meh wat u think plz


punk7890 responds:

Aside from lots of spelling mistakes, its decent. :)

Thanks for the review!

my story.

Heres my story,

I walk in, as I realize its a result of my foolishness, I turn on the camera, but the battery shortens out. I had full battery when I was going in. I went upstairs, there was blood smeared everywhere it was horrible. I go to look for something useful, no luck, you turn back to leave. Only to find the door boarded shut with blood all over I hear a sound and I'm compelled to walk toward it there are picture frames on the wall, with no pictures in them, odd. This makes me know how brave i am, none of my friends wanted to come with me, you think as you walk closer and closer to the sound. There are bodies and blood all over, you forget about it, the sound gets louder, The lights go out, you see a face, white as a ghost, your on the verge of fainting from the sights you've seen, its torture! I scream as I drop to my knees, I start to prey to god that I'll survive. With no light to see, you walk, you try the camera again. Full battery! I shouted! You start filming with night vision on, the sound gets closer. Almost sounding inhuman now, you get scared, you are now in a very narrow hallway right now. Even more blood and bodies here, you find a mirror, you look in, you don't see yourself, but you see the little boy and fall to the floor, you pass out of fear. You wake up the next morning, there is no blood or bodies and the door is unlocked. Perhaps it's your imagination, or that happened. What do you think? leave a response and tell me!

punk7890 responds:

Great! I liked it. :)

Thanks for the review!

Sweet. Heres your story.

I got a story too.
As i entered a mansion i saw dismembered corpses everywhere. I got a huge chill knowing that, that scene would be stuck in my head. As i checked more places. Only to hear a strange sound. It was a little girl singing a weird song. I felt fierce but then something that made me want to leave the place happened. I entered a room with 666 scratched into all the walls and roofs and floors and tons of evil possessed pictures in it. It looked like a sad soulless little boy was moving towards me. I thought it was my mind thus giving a little hope that i havent gone crazy. I was hoping that this was a nightmare so i wouldnt have to experience this that long. But i was wrong. As i just wanted to go home i took my stuff and ran like heck to the main room only to see that the doors were gone. I felt like this was hell but i wanted to have faith of getting out of this nightmare alive. I managed to find a clock. It apparently was 4:26 am. I checked my watch and it wasnt there anymore. I remember it being 3:38 when i entered. Then i heard a sound that gave me a chill. I heard a yell of someguy being brutaly tortured, or thats what it sounded like. I saw a shadow upstairs and i followed as my stupididity made me. When i entered the room i saw a corpse whom mouth stitched shut, elbows razored and eyes gouged out. And yet, no weapons to end this living heck. I checked everywhere to find supplies or weapons. I cheered as i saw a window. I barely could see it through all the darkness. I walked toward it. I saw a man who had been peeled all around for a mili second yelling "TURN BACK!" he dissapeared and so did the window. I moaned wondering what did i do to desserver this nightmare. And no result. So i searched more and more for supplies. Nothing. Then suddenly a pitch black hallway came into my sight. I heard a bunch of undead souning screeches in it. So i didnt feel safe and brave enough to go in. I turned around to only see a dead looking doll that had been tortured. It was moving slowely towards me from what it seemed. Dolls were the least of my fears so i went and kicked it straight
in the head. I knocked it off and blood was splatting everywhere. I Was weirded out because dolls are plastic. As i got the courage to go into the hallway i ran. I was bloody mad and i wanted to escape. And i wasnt going to let a hallway of what sounded like the undead get in my way. It couldve been another illusion anyway. So i got my fist out ready to rip some heads off with all my strength. Nothing was there. I sighed in relief. I checked more rooms. A bathroom of a kid whom drowned in the bathtub. I checked the mirror only to see a dead tortured version of me in it. I checked the cabinets for weapons or anything and nothing.
As i grown tired, mad, and weary. I decided that i might as well stop looking and
Think. As the random laughs and the illusions tried to block my thinking it didnt.
I finally decided that i could hold my breath to kill myself. I got an item to squeeze. And it worked. So as i lay dead in the bathroom floor i started to see myself rot. And i woke up. I hope you enjoyed :D. I spent a while making this.

punk7890 responds:

Nice. I like reading in-depth reviews.