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Reviews for "Cyrptic Temple"

Trapped

Very dark feeling song.

You enter the temple alone as you have no friends who wanted to come with you or any friends at all for that matter. You walk forth seeing images and a bit of dry and rusted blood on the walls of the temple. Maybe people were sacrificed to some deity here at one point?

You keep walking forth with a heavy feeling of uneasiness and in the distance you feel like you hear someone whispering to you begging you to come and help them. You slowly walk forth and keep going. You want to know what happened here to make people no longer wish to enter it.

You make your way even further in and step on a rigged stone tile on the floor. As it goes down a bit you hear something open in the distance. Stepping off you hear it close. You push a pedestal over onto it to keep that distant door open. You walk forth a bit more and see the door that had opened as there was heavy dust coming from the door.

You walk into it and cough a bit while slightly choking on the smell. The faint whispering voice seems to be getting a bit louder now as you keep pushing your way forward. You wonder what could possibly be alive there or was it an audio tape someone left on and it is somehow looping.

You could care less and keep on pushing forth. The sounds of the temple don't seem to bother you either. Being alone as made you feel comfortable around sounds like this or anything at all for that matter. As you go deeper in you notice the walls closing in a bit as you keep going forth. Turning around you see the faint light from where you entered. You walk backwards a bit noticing the walls are getting narrower as they were designed to have that look and the light gets fainter and fainter the further away from it you walk.

"Will you help me?", you hear a voice, the one that had been faint sound even closer.

Walking forth after turning around you still see nothing and hear a light laughter that almost makes you want to vomit for some reason. As you get further in, the walls become so narrow you have to walk on your side and enter a new room that is huge.

All that you see though is a few items. You turn around the light is no longer visible as something as moved the pedestal forcing you to stay inside. Something in the room will hopefully let you leave though. You look at the items and notice only one has no dust on it. You examine the other items first noticing they are vases or small cat statues or people from the past.

You walk to the undusty item standing on a pedestal and notice in poorly written hand writing that it says "Do not open.... if you wish to leave."

The words shake you a bit as you say them. You wonder what is in it.

"Please, help me. I have been stuck in here for a long time. Release me, and I can help you leave alive. Those words, those words are written by something else living here wishing to keep me trapped in this box forever. It stole my body and has been holding onto it for a few millenniums now. I just want my body back...."

You look at it and faintly hear something whisper to you in fear to leave the box closed. You look around and see nothing though. You begin to slowly open the small chest and hear a loud scream from behind you. You close the chest and look behind you.

"Who's there?!"

...no answer....

You begin to open it again and feel a tap on your shoulder.

"DON'T OPEN IT!", the creature yells at you. It looks slightly human, "That thing speaks lies! It is a cursed creature that feasts upon humans and steals their bodies. Ever since I watched my friend get killed and absorbed by that thing, I have lived here since making sure no one opens it... ever!"

"I have a better idea!", you say, "If it can do that. Let's take it out, chain it up and drop it in the middle of the ocean where no one can ever open it again."

It nods and leaves the room again. You wait for weeks and see nothing. You slowly open the box and see white eyes staring at you as if pleasing to be freed. You open it and feel a surge of power within you. Somehow you feel powerful.... and free....

punk7890 responds:

Thanks for your story!

heres my story

You are in a dark forest and its 2:00 a.m. while walking in the strange and dark place you here a strange noise coming from behind you. You look back but theres nothing there. You walk upon a cabin and enter into it suddenly you hear moaning coming from the corner.You see a young girl and then you ask her "are you ok?" the girl does not reply then dissapears...suddenly you feel pain on every part of your body and you slowly die..
P.S. i know its short and i might have a few spelling mistakes but i was in a hurry and i wasnt very creative at the time

Story time ?

Black and white shades illuminate the visible path down the dark hall . Whispers of unfamiliar presence comes from each door adjacent from each other stretching along the path . Strings of reality beaming itself into your head through every step you take, that seemed like you were staying in one place . A giant pulse surges through the body, and the building your were in collapses, revealing a static world, full of floating pieces of our life, memories, and aspects . Mirrors floating in a spiral form, as stairs stretching to an abyss, that was never ending .. Unfamiliar faces .. Unfamiliar emotions .. Yet, it was all familiar through the eyes of the awakened ..
- Aphotic Athanasy -

punk7890 responds:

Hmm. I can relate to this one alot. Seems perfect for this song.

Thanks again for your review! ;)

From what i can imagine

A team of explorers,from a Company involved in everything including international weapons sales,venture to an abandoned Temple on the Euro-Asian border to investigate its existence and find out if the weird occurrences are related to recent vanishings of people from villages around that area. They come to the outer area of the temple grounds. They come to the entrance of the temple and can not get the doors to open,then one of the riflemen among the group hears a odd noise behind him,he turns quickly. Then time seemed to stop,and everything around him appeared to be frozen in time. A ghostly figure appears in front of him and says "don't,if you value your life on this planet don't enter that gate way" he replies "why? what is lurking behind those doors?" the figure replies to him "a terrible evil lives behind those doors,and if you venture into the temple,YOU WILL DIE!". Then every thing returns to normal. The team leader Dr.Barlow orders one of the men to put an explosive charge on the doors,the one rifleman that had the brief conversation asks if he can head back to the convoy due to a disgusting feeling about him. He is allowed back to the convoy for rest. Then every thing freezes again and the figure,more clear now, says "you are very wise to turn back,you have saved your self an eternity trapped in the depths of hell." he replies "eternity in hell? what are you talking about?" then things return to normal again,and he continues to the convoy even more sick than before. After sitting in the mobile command vehicle,the radio's from the team that went in side the temple start sending back calls of terror and death. As he sits there watching the helmet cams and hearing the screams and gun shots from the team,he realizes after seeing the entire team's health indicators in the vehicle begin to flat line that they have just opened a door way to hell. Then one of the guards out side the vehicle scream in terror as creatures and ghouls rush out of the temple. then everything freezes in time and the figure reappears to him and says "you must leave this place at once and bury the gate way" he replies "how? how can I destroy this place? I am only but one man!" the figure replies with great anxiety "you live in an age where you have the power to stop this" "you know what to call to fix this". things return to normal as every guard and person at the convoy begins to fire at the hell creature's. He takes the radio from in side one of the jeeps and calls for and Air strike on the temple. Minutes later jets fly over head as he is speeding off in a jeep away form the temple. In the rear view mirror he see's massive explosions at the temple. Time freezes and the figure appears to him,now in actual form (as a young woman) says "you have saved all who live in this world from a deathly plague that would have sweep ed this world for all of eternity,the world unknowingly thanks you". Everything returns to normal,but then right before he looks forward,he crash's into a tree and his vehicle recoils off from the tree and plummets into a valley where he is killed from the jeep rolling over and breaking apart on the way down. Moral:don't join a company involved in EVERYTHING. -end

punk7890 responds:

Yet another fantastic story to read!

I liked it a lot. Nicely worded.
Hope to hear more from you. :)

creeply awesome

dude in half life , in the chapter We Don't Go To Ravenholm this is a "perfect" song for that. you've really done a amazing job on this 11/10