Decent sketch
Not a bad effort, but this does need some refining. Personally, I'd suggest that you work within the parameters of adding colour to your pieces. This way, you can draw attention away from the iffy parts of the detail, where some parts are too angular. Sometimes, the colours can smooth these sharp edges out and you'll produce a much better image all told.
With the weapon held by the character here, do you perhaps think it could be held at a 90 degree angle to the current stance? As with any large weapon as you're jumping through a window, you would need to make it as easy as possible to get through and not get caught, causing the jumper to fall to their death.
More practice with sketching will give you a better command of the pencil, but you need to do something about the rough lines that are very evident in the foreground. Finally, when you are shading, please try to keep each area shaded in the same direction - don't shade some of it horizontally and then switch to vertical, as it does look messy.
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