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Paradise Slice 02: Read the Comic

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EDIT: THERE IS A NEW VERSION WITH MORE PAGES:

✨📖ARCHIVE📖✨


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Alright, another chapter of Paradise Slice with MORE Sex, Drugs, and Aliens! It’s taken a while to get this one out, but hey, I had to finish up a couple of games and some art that was fun to work on (check it out here on Newgrounds!).


This chapter introduces Grey’s best friend Joe Yamashita, owner of the nearby bar/liquor store, and Paradise’s “friend” DJ Malvasa, a Nachini who now resides on Earth. Also, more of the fun Paradise and Grey get up to. :D


Please give a rating or comment! I always want to hear what people think! Enjoy!


Credits:

Art & Story: Kittyhawk

Programming: harry_lime

Special Thanks to the chatmonkeys of Montrose.is/chatting for spotting odd uncolored areas and helping with readability and to the beta readers!

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I really like paradises dress and the general story. Greys demeanor and the strange absorption thing on the side. All around its a pretty good comic at the pilot stage

KittyhawkMontrose responds:

Thank you so much! There will be more development for sure. Glad you're liking it so far! Be sure to check out the Director's Uncut which will be out on Monday!

Paradise sure does look very cute in that dress! Also, the interactions between Grey and Paradise are fun to look at too! I mean, they sure do care for each other in a genuine way despite differences of their own. :D

KittyhawkMontrose responds:

Thank you! I'm so glad you liked the dress, and Grey and Paradise are really fun to look at and write! They make a good couple. 💖

Well that was.. Steamy, hoh,

Although all the important stuff is pretty straightforward, what had me intrigued is a lot of the stuff happening behind the scenes and with all the characters interactions. Which has me asking questions about whether Aliens are the new "Minority Ethnicity" or perhaps they are, or were, infiltrators causing trouble and/or fleeing it.

The ending has me pondering what Paradises deal is, is she a creature that's biologically driven to eat/absorb people? but chooses not too? I presume it'll be explained at a later time.

Overall, an intriguing read. the panel with the mirror reflection and how detailed it was had me quite impressed, I doubt I would of gone to such lengths in your shoes.

My only critique would be asking Harry about integrating a zoom function. While opening it on a new tab and using the browsers zoom works fine, its a bit of an inconvenience.

KittyhawkMontrose responds:

Steamy is what I deliver. :D Thanks so much for reading, and I'm glad you're having fun with the mysteries, though they will be no longer as the story unfolds. And yeah, I went insane with details on this one, but it was fun.

The reader respects the browser zoom in full window mode, so it assumes whatever level you start at as 100% and goes from there. It even respects pinch zoom on mobile. We are thinking about some QOL changes.

So that pink is her skin? I thought it was some sort o suit or something...

KittyhawkMontrose responds:

Yep that's the "skin" of her body. It's like markings. Thanks for reading! ^_^

TLDR: Comic great, "game" presentation needs a lot of work.

As a comic, I'm not going to comment much on it. It's 18 pages long, quality artwork, decent story, the girl looks a little derpy, and one sex scene (no nudity thankfully). Maybe the colours + lighting look a bit flat, but that's about it.

However, "Paradise Slice 02: Read the Comic" (also Slice 01) is technically considered a "game", or rather, an interactive piece of software which centers around this comic, not too far off from most e-book readers, and from a technical perspective, it's incredibly barebones. You can click either side (or arrow keys) to flip pages, pop it out to another tab, and nothing else. No music or sound effects, no additional flair, nothing that oozes "creativity" aside from within those pages.

Here are some suggestions for improvement:
*** Try to add stuff from the author comments (descriptions, credits, links to other comics, etc) into the software itself.
Example: The instructions could be a single pop-up when you open the comic.
*** Visual indicators that only show up when you hover your mouse over one side (to indicate you should click to flip the next page.

** Display 2 pages like a real comic book
** A short animation that plays when you flip a page, rather than just instantly skipping to the next page.
** Some music (that you can change volume). Maybe 2-3 different songs in different sections of the comic.

* A button to jump straight back to the start
* Change the title from "Read the Comic" to just "Comic", preferably in brackets
* Some voices / dubs if possible.

Hope that helps.
-frog-

EDIT: Do note there's a difference between something being barebones and being minimalistic.

KittyhawkMontrose responds:

It's good to hear from a fellow Aussie! :D As you hit on the head, we're going for "barebones" at the moment. These are great ideas for expanding, especially the quick jump to the start. I like that! Thanks so much for the thorough review, and I'm glad you liked the comic portion a lot. ^_^

Credits & Info

Views
18,592
Faves:
62
Votes
266
Score
3.81 / 5.00

Uploaded
Jan 11, 2023
7:01 PM EST
Software
  • Bando's Comic Wizard
  • Daily 2nd Place January 13, 2023