Jim Carrey was once in a movie about penguins. I believe the title of the film was 'Mr. Popper's Penguins'. Growing up in the 90s, like most kids at the time, I was a big fan of the comedic stylings of Jim Carrey.

Now, mind you, this was well after his heyday - I was in college, I think - and I believe the target demographic of the film was skewed towards a younger crowd. He had such a great track record, though. I had to give old Jim a fair shake. It was a no-brainer, really.

Let me tell you, friends. That movie sucked. It sucked so much balls. I can't even tell you a thing that happens in the movie. I just know I HATED it. It was so bad that it left me with a feeling of disillusionment and resentment I couldn't quite rid myself of for weeks afterwards.

I don't know if I was mad at Jim, exactly. He probably did a fine job with the material he was given; he strikes me as someone who always gives it his all. I think it's more like a part of me died that day. A part of my childhood died, at least.

Anyway, this movie isn't about that.