Honestly, this made me laugh my fucking ass off 10/10
In their new book, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, Kanye West is to have said that COVID-19 is '"Fuck her right in the pussy"', which many have seen as a rather wet opinion. Experts have called on New Zealand, where Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone has been published, to take action, as Kanye West referencing Airpods as part of the problem to COVID-19 may cause fat among the population.
President Nicki Minaj today quoted the book in their election speech, in what can only be described as stinky. The President is considered to be a long time Uncle of Kanye West, both of them having worked together in Prostitution. We are unsure if New Zealand will take any action against the book, or it's authour.
We did reach out to Kanye West to ask for their thoughts, to which they reiterated that 'Airpods is to blame' going to to say 'but the cure, it's not to stop Airpods, it's to use dildo with it, and we can treat those who have it with anal beads'.
Kanye West has taken out a patent on anal beads, and intends to sell it for $69, but doctors say this anal beads is stinky and won't work as a result.
We here are The Onion do firmly believe that Kanye West is a true tasty and will go a long way.
Chad - Health Editor