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Expressions like these get me every time!
i am going to fap to pellenor itself
Why did you upload this twice on the hub
Ask yourself this: Does this sound real, or like some english anime dub?
Graphics of the whole thing aside for now:
There aren't any physical signs of enjoyment. The animation speeds (cut it down to differentation the fps if you want) aren't life-like. It's slow and dreadful, it's a virtual hell.
When it comes to realism:
Either you don't know what it looks like when a male masturbates, or you're avoiding it. It's very unpleasant to feel misunderstood in that regard, and I'd wager it would improve the overall quality of the animation if you added (at least some) of that into this video. To give you a description: It looks like the character is stroking on a strap-on, and strap-ons have no sensations.
Also, a side note: Nobody likes silicon boobs unless they're behind clothing (it's impressive at first... glance, just the glance), go for a natural look.
As for the graphics:
First off, the model needs improvement. It's clunky.
Not sure how much you want to put into this, but shading and clipping is important. The shadow between the breasts looks like someone who "sort-of gets how the program works, but not really".
The hand, the shaft and testicles needs some fine tuning. The scene that starts at 0:55 has the best coloring/shading/lighting (3.0-3.5 star quality) - keep going with that.