One thing I notice with a lot of these games is a gigantic amount of dialog. If I have to read more than four lines at a time then I'm spamming the skip button (if there even is one). I agree with the last person who commented; having a sex scene in the beginning is an excellent choice. What I would suggest is hiring a VO artist and cutting down on the text description by 95%. If all we have is text, then by all means, write the hell out of it. But if we have the full benefit of animation (ideally with VO) then the text descriptions only get in the way.