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The Damned Truth pt.1

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So I've decided to make a new animation involving my dark boy, Dusk. As he knows a little about his planet but not the whole truth. As far as he knows, a murderer killed his race and he had to escape. But how will he react knowing the killer is right next to him?

All helpful comments are welcome, thank you!

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The swears you used in a E rated newgrounds project
Ass, Damn, Sh*t (censored), F--- (censored), Bitch,
You also had guns, and made an analogy about strip clubs
This is an all time low. Swearing is not supposed to be in the E rating. Also strip clubs should barely be in the T rating (I guess if they aren't seen it's ok)

Ok now for my opinion:

I didn't enjoy it at all personally. Let's start with the artwork and animation. Now sure you did good for MS paint, but this does not excuse the absolute laziness of animation. You got a spot on mouth movement there, but you also got some cringy arm movement with your dettached arms. Artwork consists of oversized arms and necks which is a big no-no in the art department. As the animation went longer, the artwork got worse. Note you do not need to make an entire animation in one day.

Next we have the plot. The plot you were going for had so much potential, however the plot was sloppily thrown together. There are some events that just seem too unnecessary. This is mostly true with the jokes. The jokes were clever, but not one was funny and a good precent of them were just dumb. The pacing was kind of bad, and you are forced to read the description for insight. As well as this, there is NO introduction to characters at all. We just sort of see them, which doesn't build up good character development, making the characters stale.

And last but certainly not least, the voice acting and audio. In things like this, voice acting productively can be important since it helps create an easier way to understand. A bad voice actor can lack any real emotion, be hilariously bad, or just flat out be completely not understandable in the slightest. Well some voice actors are experienced slightly are are convincing, others are pretty bad having annoying ear-piercing voices. Though I shouldn't be too harsh since some of the actors are obviously too young to even be a decent voice actor, you still had some moderate aged people.

Now this is only a short version, if I take every piece of this animation and put it here as a problem, we could be here all day.

Overall what needs to be fixed:
At least make it T for teen
Better artwork
Experienced voice actors
Better introduction to plot rather than having to read the description
Better plot and less plot holes.

Good luck on your next part, it needs improvement.

Credits & Info

2.66 / 5.00

Jul 16, 2018
4:49 PM EDT