there are 2 things dense about hiro
this was too freaking funny
That was kind of bad to be honest.
Not really faithful to the copypasta, the "expand on and on and on" didn't work out this time, there is such a thing as bloat.
First, the fact that Hiro is a boy as opposed to a man (and a Paladin of Pelor) kind of... makes it weird, also you're doing a classic "anime boy with harem" type of thing, a cliché that had nothing to do with the original story.
You also made Hiro talk way too much, the whole joke of "I don't follow" "Do who with what now?" and so on was lost because of it.
Also, the father should've really had more of a spotlight, as long with the mother (that wasn't shown).
The animation, drawings etcetera was nice... except for Hiro, who looks like a generic anime boy.
Overall, it felt like a "dumbed down" story for those who haven't ever read the copypasta.
The original copypasta would've led to more bloat and kinda took some gags in a direction that I didn't want to / possibly wouldn't be suitable for the animation rating I was going for.
For instance, the original script wrote the daughter to behave like a spoiled teenager rather than a demon lord. This led to her being a lot more direct in the original post, which kinda shortens comedic build up. The gag becomes a lot more focused on just the situation rather than also playing off the execution. Hence a more mature / threatening design made more sense to me, especially since it contrasted better with the ideas for the hero.
Meanwhile, the original post focused on the concept of a 'dumb shonen protagonist,' so I don't know where you got the idea that it had nothing to do with the cliché or saw them as an older male, unless you're thinking of the wrong post all together. (Just for reference/convenience: https://imgur.com/gallery/n5gKB) Even if the original post that started the thread aimed to suggest an older hero, as the thread went on ideals and behaviors more corollary with a less seasoned one fit better, especially since it was 'shonen.' Ergo using an immature, naive hero made a lot more sense.
Unless you were suggesting to do the original comment's option of a hero who instead makes up excuses and is easily flustered but actually knows what's going on and is just resistant, which IMO isn't as funny, which is why people in the thread likely switched to him being dumb (and actually the flustered hero trope has already been done word for word as an actual anime, literally called "Demon King and Hero." I actually I didn't find out about until I saw it in the related videos on my youtube upload, hah.)
Some aspects as well, such as the prospect of more focus on the family, would've meant ending on a different gag and an even longer animation. I definitely did want to do more with that idea, especially the dad (and 'adoptive father-son bonding), but they'd be way more suitable for a sequel if I ever decide to do one. (Plus it'd lead to more bloat to try and cram them in.)
The critique of it being a little long winded is fair, and I agree to a point (I even had cut out quite a few lines and scenes at that), but I think you might be a bit too devoted to the original script verbatim. It feels more like you took issue with the fact that I reinterpreted some aspects at all or added anything to it, rather than how they were interpreted and executed while preserving the same core ideas.
Still, thank you for the feedback. Even if I don't wholly agree there's still more thought put into your review and stances than some of the other negative reviews I've gotten. Despite its success I definitely don't consider this the strongest thing I've made, and I'm conscious of its shortcomings.
It hurts to hear his densenes show