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>be me

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be atomized 5 Points

all according to plan

be bloodninja 5 Points

ED is a serious issue

be dog 5 Points

you really like dogs, don't you?

be dreaming 5 Points

thank god the dog was just a dream

be eminem 5 Points

just talk to the girl already, jesus

be spaghetti 5 Points

split your head in gamestop

be suave 5 Points

woo the gamestop girl

be treats 5 Points

a nice guy tries to give a gift...

be inspected 10 Points

who eats in the middle of class?

be not poop 10 Points

ew, you wiped it on your clothes?

be philanthropic 10 Points

get your fannypack back from the dog

be prepared 10 Points

get outta gamestop without issues

be rudolph 10 Points

fuck yeah, cheetos

Author Comments

A short text adventure about a day in the life of a neckbeard. Try to find all 13 endings!

I whipped this together in about 15 hours after learning about spaghetti stories, so some of the jokes probably aren't on point, but I wanted to be done before Christmas so I can start on some other small stupid games (that I will probably post here on NG)

>type be me to begin
>type look for hints

Edit: Since people are having troubles getting around:

Here are all the verbs you need:
Go, get, give, wipe, eat, pet, kick, fuck (or sex), and lift.

PS. The medal descriptions are also pretty hinty.
PPS. How the fuck did I nail Scar's medal, yet fuck up the poop medal?


cool, ik this is a random question but why does a smily face appear when you type something invalid?

Great game! This is my first text adventure and it's great!
I have one question: How do i get my money from that damn dog! >:(

PS:Great lion king reference!

Ok, you got me good with the "be inspected" ending, great game man!

Good game but very confusing. Im stuck at the part where the dog runs whit my money and the look dosent help.Still a good funny game. ;D

This game is fantastic ,good humor ,awesome stories ,fun and addicting ,Cant get the rudolph medal

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Credits & Info

3.03 / 5.00

Dec 24, 2017
3:15 PM EST
Adventure - Other