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The Rise of Bhaal Alpha 0.0.1

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If you want to support this game help me on patreon.com/vegetasama

Scenes:
-Go to the park on tuesday afternoon to get one scene
-Enable NTR when asked and go to Marie's home to get an NTR scene

Plot:
Every 1000 years the Ruler of Gehenna has to pay for all human race sins getting the most painful blow from the "upper one". Lucifer, the King of Gehenna, finds a loophole and choose to escape this fate leaving the role of Ruler to Bhaal, his son. Since his power is not so big, in the day of the Judgement, Bhaal could lose his life becoming completely annihilated by the divine power. Helped by his sister Ullene, he will discover his father's masterplan, and he will travel to the Earth and find a way to escape his fate.

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i would honestly play this. the game story is there but needs work but i can see it working with more detail added and more stright to the point diologe.Im not someone who can say i know what im talking about but i hope this helps.

Good plot..... just need more.

better then most

Okay, so putting aside the lack of gameplay or progression, let's take a moment to talk about writing. Because this is a heavily story-based RPG, where the player is meant to be engaged by the twists and turns of the plot, you need to grab the player's attention with some semblance of a plausible scenario.

So let's see how this looks from a player standpoint:

We start out with Lucifer introducing his sons (and daughters), and saying (if I may paraphrase), "For billions of years we have made billions of souls suffer". So all of these demons are ostensibly billions of years old, and each has some form of rulership over some sinful aspect (Lust, Discord, Sodomy, Anger, etc.). And yet somehow none of them except for Ullene is aware that every 1000 years, Lucifer has been receiving this punishment blast from the "upper one".

So then, Bhaal is appointed to be the new Ruler of Gehenna, and needs to be shown the ropes by his sister Ullene. So now Bhaal, a billion year old demon, one of the co-rulers of Gehenna, needs to be shown around Gehenna by his sister. We're not talking about being shown some grand castle he now can access as the new Ruler, he's just being shown around BASIC Gehenna, a realm he supposedly had already been co-ruling. He gawps ignorantly as every detail is revealed, including HIS OWN BEDROOM?!? He's somehow surprised and unaware of his own sleeping arrangements? At that point I was completely out, it was beyond ludicrous.

I get it, you need exposition to explain the situation to the player, but at this point Bhaal seems like a brain dead idiot who somehow doesn't know anything about his own life. That's just sloppy writing, and if you're going to try and weave together a complex plot of betrayal and demonic intrigue, you can't start out with something this careless and illogical.

So I recommend you go back to the drawing board, and take some time, think out the plot and story to make some more sense, and put in the hard work of actually crafting something playable before you submit it. I get it, you want an Alpha out there to drum up some interest, but if your Alpha turns off the players, you can give up any hope of getting Patreon support. You need to do the actual work (for free. yeah) and make something decent before you start asking for money.

there doesn't seem to be any way to advance time, and there is no quest log, despite it stating there is, to let you know if there is a way to progress.