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Tobey Maguire

rated 4.32 / 5 stars
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Credits & Info

May 15, 2017 | 10:26 AM EDT
  • Frontpaged May 15, 2017
  • Daily Feature May 16, 2017
  • Weekly 2nd Place May 17, 2017

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Author Comments

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Written by: Levi Neff, Rob Salmon, BioDomeWithPaulyShor, Nik Nok, Theninjasarecoming, Anderson Helms, Blue Froman, Walrus Wraith, SexuaLobster

Lyrics: I keep on having this reoccurring dream, where Toby Maguire watches me eat cream.
Tobey asks me, can he have the rest. Then he proceeds to pour it on his chest
Atop the tallest building of a cityscape scene, suspended from a construction beam
He stares into my soul, watching me as I lick the bowl
Now he's naked in my grandma's bath, i start to cry, but he just laughs
Gazing hungrily into my eyes, he removes the hair from his inner thighs.
I wake from my dream, I'm aroused and sweaty, I head for the fridge to get a big bowl ready as I
♪As I lick and work the spoon, I feel a presence in the room.♪
Hi Tobey
Hi, can i have some of that cream?
Sure, here you go
Thanks a lot!
Any time, Tobey.

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Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Music is stellar as usual. The way the lyrics are sung has improved over past collabs, I think.

Animations are very good... in places. The "as I work the spoon" is all frame-by-frame and looks awesome, along with the recurring dream loop animation. Most of the other cream eating animations don't look very good and come off lazy with the excessive tweening. Cream should be fluid, instead it's just kind of stuck and looks like it hasn't moved when it loops.

I'm... just going to be a complete asshole here. My biggest gripe is that Tobey Maguire looks nothing like Tobey Maguire. It threw me and I had to go look him up just be sure. You've got his jaw, eyes and lips down, but his nose is completely wrong. Toby has a wider, rounder nose and it's positioned a bit higher, whereas your drawing has it narrow, hooked and a bit too far down so that it's shrinking the space between his upper lip. Toby has a distinct chin cleft. His smile creases his cheeks pretty hard. And from a side profile, you've given him a massive overbite and his mouth is way to high (bathtube shot).

In the last shot, when "you" give Tobey the bowl, your character's mouth is drawn too far to the left. It should be centered down the line of the face, but it is instead residing under the left eye. You could chalk this up to style, but it's considerably different than the rest of the face poses in the toon. If I had to wager, based on my extensive love of Sexual-Lobster cartoons, i'd guess this is a recycled older drawing, as your newer ones feature harder and more narrow facial features... perhaps consistent with why Tobey looks so wrong.

I made a bunch of cartoons back in the early 2000's and I can just feel the time and energy, especially the frame-by-frames and the background art... I can't imagine how much work it is putting together these catchy and hilarious songs. There's not an ounce of hate in me, Chris, when I say your drawing have always been inconsistent... likely something you labor over and then just tween most of the time (which is fine!) but when it comes time to draw something outside your comfort zone, we get one of these situations. I mean, i'm just looking at Fernado on the thumbnails on the left <--- side bar here, and in Pleasure Island vs Quest of the manwhore... looks like it was drawn by two different people. They are both good! They're just not consistent.

This is why I don't write reviews. I just tear into people and it's... ugh, it's a fun cartoon and I will probably always look forward to your stuff, Chris. But this really stuck out to me and detracted from my enjoyment and I figure since no one else is saying it I would. I hate myself!

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Rated 5 / 5 stars

Music and animation are top notch as always. I always look forward to the content you put out. Keep up the good work!


Rated 5 / 5 stars

Extremely weird and random... and beautifully animated. All my stars are belong to this.

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Rated 5 / 5 stars

Somebody needs to show this to Toby as soon as possible. Just saying.
I could rate the audio and the video, but we all know it's 10/10's here.

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Rated 5 / 5 stars