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#rubberonionbattle

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This is a silly video and I like that. I like that it's silly. Embrace the fact that it's silly, don't shy away from it. Don't muddle it with unnecessary elements. People love silly stuff. When the camera zoomed out and I saw that they were in a microwave, I only processed that for a second before my eyes were drawn to the tacos and the magician. What do they add? Let it be a video about two potatoes: that's fine. I like that the video doesn't take itself seriously, but I feel like it's insecure about how silly it is.

On a technical level, I think it would have made more sense if the non-speaking potato had an angry look on his face in the beginning. Right now it looks like he's smiling and that can be confusing. By making him angry, you misdirect, not confuse, the audience, making them think that he's blowing up because of anger. When you zoom out, you get to see that they're in a microwave. Classic misdirection comedy. It also makes speaking potatoes first line make a lot more sense.

Last thing: I liked the shaky, black and white zoom at the end. I would challenge you to go further with that. Hold it longer, go in closer. Really show the audience the speaking potatoes unhappiness. I think that kind of technique goes well with simple illustration such as this.

Overall, I like what you were going for, but I wish it had more polish and thought put into the elements of the video.

Don't stop animating! I see potential!

ericpolley responds:

thank you. the taco and magician were call backs to previous #rubberonionbattles i have done this year, but i understand how they could be seen as unnecessary. i think next time i will only add a call back if it adds a direct comedic contribution.
haha, it would have been much funnier if the none speaking potato had an angry face, for sure.
Thank you for the pointers! I will always take advice. And yes you are right, i created this in about an hour; i could have polished it a bit more, but chose to upload it asap.
thanks for the feedback!

Credits & Info

Views
807
Votes
79
Score
2.73 / 5.00

Uploaded
Apr 22, 2017
4:37 AM EDT