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"computer salesman"

Score:
rated 2.56 / 5 stars
Views:
648 Views
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Genre:
Comedy - Original
Tags:
book
mac

Credits & Info

Uploaded
Mar 19, 2017 | 6:20 PM EDT

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Author Comments

enjoy this short cartoon. hopefully u have a laugh

hmu on twitter: https://twitter.com/gilfgavin

Reviews


PsychoMonkiPsychoMonki

Rated 3 / 5 stars

Animation quality is good but the humor kinda falls flat, I did read your response to the guy below so I understand why I guess, for a cartoon in 1 night this is good :)


People find this review helpful!

ZorkaDJZorkaDJ

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars

Dont want to be rude but really didn't find the "hey if I say 'fuck' it will be funny" routine funny since 2007

like if you say something like "fuck you, you piece of shit" it has to have weight and the way this is presented the only joke is "what if the guy at best buy said that to me, that would be pretty wacky, right?" and it just falls flat cause I (the viewer) doesn't know or care why this person is being called a piece of shit. I know this website had people like Oney and Psyhicpebbles come from here and they were seen to kinda have that humor but their style had a punch cause they would start a joke with you kinda getting to know and feel for the characters then go into the getting shitted on.

like why is he saying "fuck you" does he hate his job? does he not like the guy who walked in? does he not like macs?
I know im taking the piss out of this joke but its just I dont see how this is comedy. like you dont have to tell me the dudes backstory but I want to know the dudes motive or why he was reacting like that. and I know how this can be chalked up to "oh, this dude just doesn't get it lol" but I feel like you can improve and there is potential here cause how this looks is great, the flow was great, just delivery and joke was overall eh.


Gavino responds:

hey i'm just letting you know that i didn't plan any of this or write a script. the sole purpose of making this was to see if i could make a short cartoon in a night and i did. i appreciate the feedback on the lack of comedic value honestly, because it was just cheap humor. I'm really trying to expand my horizons on writing and technique.

lighten up a little bit and don't dig so deep! you sound like my father!

-Gavin.


NailNail

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

Not too bad, although I'll say that improv isn't repeating the same bit three times in a row


Gavino responds:

i had to repeat it!


AustinJayCookAustinJayCook

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

Animation was good, but there wassnt any real comedical value considering there were just interuptions of mean phrases. Truthfully, if the substance was stronger it would have been awesome sauce, i would love to sit down with you and maybe go over some scripts i would love to help you really put together a succesful script!!!

Good Vibes!
Austin Cook


Gavino responds:

to be fair, i didnt write a script at all. i just hit record and rolled with whatever happened. as for the animation i'd say it's the most simplistic thing ive done.

thanks tho


miazkimiazki

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

lol, i like it