Tired of waiting?
Click here to disable ads!
You are not logged in. If you sign up for an account,
you can gain additional voting power over time, allowing your vote to have an even
greater impact on submission scores!
This follow up commission, from the very generous paranoiagod, features Eto (from Tokyo Ghoul), Aba (from Guilty Gear) and Creepy Susie(from the Oblongs) in a steamy shemale/futa threesome. Hope you all enjoy!
Commission Season is open!
good stuff . only comment would is sfx is too loud. perhaps reduce it in half. hair animation needs improvement.
not really a gangbang, but still a spit-roasting threesome,
Okay... overall good work :o)
You've got believable proportions, relatively accurate motion in animation, and sound effects check out. That's to say for the sight, the sound seems to match. Everything also sync's up well, so the audio helps "sell" the shot.
Your models are attractive. There was clearly attention to all the details to make believable and attractive characters. Your animation literally breathes life into them with motion, sound, and a creative situation to play out.
As with anything, there is room to become more and better. Control of volume would help, as it does seem to get loud out of nowhere. (this could also be a glitch in upload or connections)...
You probably already get this idea, but it's worth saying. Sex has a plotline like anything else, building from slow to climax and crescendo (to adopt a term from music)... Now, I noticed the steady drizzle from Creepy Suzie (I believe/been years)... And of course, the climax is abrupt and fades directly to a black screen with "replay".
Might suggest (even for future use) that the drizzle would've been most appropriate to only start with the faster/fastest pace. It would symbolize the growing excitement and anticipation with the progression, and letting her start cumming first would peak a viewer's anticipation without distracting from the other two. Then letting the final cum-shot button loose a wash would draw the obvious climax, and letting it loop doesn't actually hurt anything, whether you let it loop only a few times before moving on to the end-scene, or just leave it to loop endlessly until the viewer "end-clicks". On ending this volcanic cum-festival, it might also be most effective to just add a "replay" button somewhere on screen instead of fading directly to a replay-screen altogether. A loop of slower but steady cum-drizzling would be fine, but you could go other ways for the finish loop, not to be restricted to "petting scene" or "pulling out and fondling"...
Finally, I get it... This was a commission, and you were probably pretty strictly directed in most aspects of the project. You might already have it in mind, or were shorted out of time constraints. If such was the case, you're most certainly welcome to disregard an opinion from me (humble watcher)... If there is something in the suggestions you can use, or suddenly find helpful, by all means USE IT. I truly am only hoping to be helpful (even as a muse)... lolz...
And don't forget to breathe, relax, and keep on keeping on... :o)
Thank you, I appreciate your honesty and well written critique. I thrive to always push my limits and be better with each new thing. I do like your suggestions. The truth is, I kinda rushed myself a little on this one. I spent more time on getting the characters, angle and motion correct.
sexy. would be nice tho if after pressing "CUM", the screen would stay on the scene with cum oozing out, not instantly going to the "RESTART" screen.
That is a quite wide mix of characters heh :P
Anyhow, it is looping kinda twitchy. Notable on the legs and hair primarily. The sound is pretty okay though.
Really out of no-where loud, effeminate moaning though heh. Kinda neat that you didn't oversize the dudes though. Always nice to see a bit more reasonable genitals.
Overall, it's a notch below average, but still pretty good.
Fernando accepts a difficult mission from a suspicious guy who buys him some yoghurt.
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.