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Battle Of The Kingdom

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The king of the small town ''Skip'' has taking all the people's food and weapons. Now you the hero must fight him and take back the town

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Well hello.

I am not even sure I can give a proper comment for this work without knowing how old you are. So I'll just say how it felt.

It was dull. Exceptionnally dull. I wasn't expecting something like this. And it's probably because this is not the real game you intend to make, is it ? It feels like something you'd make when you just bought RPG Maker and wanted to give it a try in order to get accustomed to it before you really start the more ambitious game you have in mind. Am I right ? But I don't think it should be published... or at least not here, where people won't care and will be cruel. I think there is a forum for RPG making users. They would give you better advice and be benevolent.

Now, for the long version of my advice :

Regarding the fact that it was dull, let's not believe your players will be more excited with a few different foes ! I would not. The key is that you have to manage to give them a context. They can't just emerge. Describe WHY they emerge ! Not in the fighting screen. Find in the main screen an explanation for why the fight occurs. Why are they attacking me and not attacking all the surrounding characters ? Have I done something illegal ? Or is it me attacking the soldiers while they are monitoring the area ? You see, RPG is a kind of game that requires mostly writing. Problem is that you showed it to me like it is just many fights until a bigger fight. And that is not exciting at all ! So write a lot, create an atmosphere, make up the universe, for example :

- Mind your story and create all surroundings accordingly ! There are weapon shops all the way, while it was said that the king had taken all weapons.

- Make your character descriptions match better your assets ! We see healthy people with rich clothes while we are told they are poor people. We should see misery. Cracks on the buildings are okay, though. Sometimes you will have to make your own assets to match your story because the ones RPG Maker comes with won't be good enough and it will be tough.

- Find a reason for things to happen ! We are presented with a fait accompli. Those people want the hero to rid them of the king and it's already decided that he will do it for them but how comes they are so weak they can't do this all together, more or less like real revolutions ? Is the difference really is that he has a weapon and they don't ? Even if there were no weapon shops, everything can be a weapon in a human hand. Ask yourself what would happen in a town where everybody want to overthrow their sovereign and it will give you ideas ! Maybe an underground place where they devise a plot, or a street where someone incitates people to rebel. Then there can be many reason for your character to take part but, give him a motive !

- Give your characters personality ! Then the motive for them to act as they do will become more obvious. Or you can make their motive a mystery, it can be the key to a good story. But make clear they has one, otherwise players will just think it's lazy writing ! See the King, now who is he ? And why is he tyrannizing his people ? "Because he is the bad man" is the bad motive and will generally lead to bad RPGs. See your hero, who is he ? Is he familiar with this town? And why does he accept such a task, having to take the whole royal army on by himself ? "Because he is the hero" is the bad motive and will make bad RPGs and "because he fights for Justice" isn't sufficient for this character to be interesting. His motive would more likely be something personal. Character personality may help to answer many previous questions. Permanently ask yourself those questions so you go deeper in your story. You can even ask why this character have this personality, maybe something happened before that made him think this way, and that event is linked to that other character and so on.

- Just an example but have you though about why the main character can cast fire and none of the ennemies can ? You can't normally cast fire. What gave him this skill all of a sudden ? Think of the best RPGs, like the Final Fantasy 6, 7 and 8th episodes : all of them feature the reason why the characters can use magic in the battle screen as a key element of their respective plots. (The Espers in FF6, the Mako energy in FF7, the Guardian Forces in FF8)

- Think of how the places tell something about the people and use that to create story ! Not just to hide potions and a bow. The player must not have this feeling like the entire building was built around the goldchest you want him to open. I basically red that those were poor people, then rushed into a house with a chest and stole gold from it. Nothing tells us what is this gold. Maybe secret savings an old man stashed in a shoebox to keep the bad king getting his hands on them ? Maybe it was the savings of a lifetime ? Maybe I should feel bad about it ? Maybe you could design it so I can't steal it because something prevents me to ? I don't know, just keep asking yourself lots of things like that when you include something like an item, NPC, scenery... into your game. That way you will come to better ideas and liven up your kingdom.

- Add details. Many details. You've done that with the stone commemorating the town foundation. Although it's only a part of the work, it's not sufficient until you make it related to someting meaningful. Like, maybe back in 1501 there was no king and the castle was not there, he settled not too long ago...

- Write a description for each of your items ! A potion heals 500 health points but I had to test it several times to know. For the water I had to guess its use because I got it even before I could use any magic point so it would have done nothing. Players are nor supposed to use items blindly.

- Overall, when in the menu it feels lazy. You didn't write anything so it makes no reason to go there. Bad for a RPG. Add descriptions of the characters, descriptions of equipment, bestiary, journal, I don't know...

Hope this will give you ideas. It gave me some. Because I got RPG Maker not too long ago. See the work of others is stimulating anyway. Still, go ask in a RPG making community forum !