Your animation isn't bad, itself. I'd give a much higher score if everything were colored in, and if the lines were more cleanly drawn. Also, make sure you're not using any copyrighted music, or you could have your submission removed. This sounds like a song I remember hearing on internet radio, but I can't place the name. Be careful.
Keep up the good work! You just might have what it takes to make it big if you're consistent. :)