Sneak Bot 199X

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Edit: Thanks for the front page!

Made this in two weeks for the Round2 of the NG Summer Jam!
When i saw the theme i knew i wanted to do something with robots that are woefully inadequate at their job and having recently played MGS for the first time figured the worse thing to be terrible at is being sneaky on a top secret mission.

Hopefully the voices don't sound too bad. Had to re-record them after Adobe Audition decided to banish my entire session into the void.

Anyways enough rambling Happy Robot Day!

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That was cringy af. I love it <3

SuperPhil64 responds:

Glad i could cringe my way into your heart! <3

I love the idea of this robot, whose sole purpose is to be sneaky and by design he's clearly not. The voices were fine, and I loved the gags! SFX and music were on point as well.

What keeps this from getting a perfect score to me was pace. The world-building introductory text-crawl would only really be needed if you intended to expand upon this character and setting, but if this is a one-shot, is kinda unnecessary. The audience wouldn't think twice that, for whatever reason, they're sending this inept sneak-bot to save the president.

Also, what's up with this world's Colonel Campbell; maybe it's because he's an old white guy with white hair dressed in white, but I'm getting a serious Colonel Sanders vibe if we threw on a Daffy Duck sailor hat and slapped a Cyber eye-patch on him.

Some of the gags necessitated padding, like the slow trudge of the clunky tank treads, and slowly reversing, and that's totally fine but it helped provide the sense that the overall pace was kinda slowly trudging, there was nothing inherently quick to switch up the pace. With some minor tweaking into comedic timing, the jokes could punch more as well as quicken the pace of the overall short.

Having said all of that, I think you did great! Voted 5!

SuperPhil64 responds:

Hey thanks a bunch for the nice words and feedback! Storytelling and writing are two things i'm trying to improve so i will definitely keep this feedback in mind moving forward!

As for the Mission Command guy i tried to just make him look really goofy, figured a world with shitty robots would have shitty leaders. But who knows maybe he also has a chain of fried chicken restaurants?

Liked the animation, but I would have preferred a different story. I get that it was done in two weeks, but it would have been nice to say more (funny, making a point, etc.) Thanks for participating in Robot Day.

SuperPhil64 responds:

Hey, thanks for the kind words! Definitely wish i could have put more into this but unfortunately i actually had to cut a few things from the orriginal script to make sure i got it on time. Once these jams are over i have a few other things im working on that will hopefully be more of your cup of tea.

The animation was smooth, and scenes transitioned well, but the dialogue seemed a tad slow and a little forced after the intro. Considering the length of the submission there's not much else to say, but overall a good piece of work for only two weeks of time.

Definitely keep up with practice and I'm sure your cartoons will become viral at some point. Good job, hope to see more of your stuff on the front page in the future.

SuperPhil64 responds:

Hey! First of All thanks for believing my toons have the potential to hit it big, means a lot to me to hear that. And secondly thanks for the feedback, voice acting, writing and pacing have always been some of my weak area's. So i will definitely be working on that in future animations.


Glad I tuned in to this year's Robot Day.

SuperPhil64 responds:

Really happy to hear you think so! Thanks. : D

Credits & Info

3.72 / 5.00

Jul 10, 2016
8:57 AM EDT
Comedy - Original