Music by Smashy Claw (http://www.youtube.com/smashyclaw)
Animated by Mato Filipović (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzIJ2IHzfrBH69IRC45qqeQ)
Buy now: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/dreaming-of-goatees-single/id1073489256?ign-mpt=uo%3D4

Lyrics:

When I was a kid I always dreamed of my first beard
A manly mane to instigate envy among my peers
Thirty years have not brought whisker one
Each day I wake with anxious glee, dreaming of goatees
But in the mirror there’s a beardless freak who starts to weep
Impatiently a razor waits untouched

Some guys leave me appalled. They bawl that it comes in small
What gall, try being totally bald, then all you’d value stubble

Bestow this bro with face fuzz
Cause currently below my nose it’s vacant
I’m starting to lose hope I’ll grow a great one
The growing’s going slow and it kills me
Of all the cruel conditions
I’m just a little molecule deficient
There go my lofty follicle ambitions
This wool omission’s just not fair
Come on drape this face so bare in facial hair

Dad said “Kiddo, childhood flies fast; soon you’ll be grown up
And lanate face, sports and steak don’t make a man; it’s the sum of what he’s done”
Never trust a patchy schmuck so blind
When other teens were making fake IDs, I made a stache

It didn’t stick too well and fell off of me in front of the whole class
After that their snide slights cut like knives

When Movember is nigh I die a tiny bit inside
So why are bearded ladies so shy? Cause I’d wear that hair with pride

Bestow this bro with face fuzz
Cause currently below my nose it’s vacant
I’m starting to lose hope I’ll grow a great one
The growing’s going slow and it kills me
Of all the cruel conditions
I’m just a little molecule deficient
There go my lofty follicle ambitions
This wool omission’s just not fair
Come on drape this face so bare in facial hair