You forgot the tentacle hentai part.

But decent work for your first submission using MSPaint, I'd recommend a different program and a good tablet to draw with if you're going to get hot and heavy (and sweaty and sticky) into this.

Work some on the backgrounds, and possibly shadings. And why does she should like she has a german/hispanic accent? It's cool if that's her thing, just wondering.

I look forward to your improved future submissions.