This fanime still needs more polishing in terms of the graphics department.
Try to understand your characters and drawn objects as an individual three-dimensional entity.
Carefully observe your subjects before drawing.
You may need more reference material beside anime for your drawings.
Borrow off of multiple sources including real life observation.
You also gotta pay close attention to creating effective character poses.
Your characters will not only express emotions in the face but body language speaks volumes too.
Do whatever is needed to work out the poses in each drawing.
Act out the poses, have friends act out the poses and use toys of your characters if possible.
You could create clay toys based on your drawings.
You could even have a friend help you with brand new character designs.
I personally think character designs that deviant away from anime would work for this cartoon.
Try applying more of your own twist onto the anime art style.
Be sure to create a kick ass new animation and enjoy the process of creating new submissions.
I hope this review guides you towards a more successful direction.
Best luck on your journey to success.