Cum Farmer

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Manage your own 3D printed testicle farm in this epic resource management RPG of the century! Handle all aspects of a simulated real life farming company as you scout for buyers to sell your product to, increase production value and speed accommodating for an intensive market fluctuation system, and watch your empire grow into an unstoppable force of capitalism!

Build up your farm of testicles to produce more cum per second, sell cum for money, spend money on stem cells, and use those stem cells to print more testicles. Let the circle of cum farming continue! Once you have enough cum to fill the vat, you get to go home.


This game is in beta! If you have any suggestions for future versions, please leave a comment.

As per the request of commenters, I'm working on an update to expand the game as a whole. I'm rewriting the game from the ground up so it may take some time, but I hope to have the update ready by the end of the month. Thanks guys for your support, I wouldn't be working on this if people didn't want to play it


(10-17) Stem cell update
New features: It now takes stem cells instead of money to fuel the 3D printers, which you can buy at the stem cell shop for money

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people who say this game is stupid or "same" as other is fucking stupid, ALL VIDEO GAMES from fantasy whatever balls to your math homework is JUST A FUCKING MATH SIMULATOR added on with some color dots to simulate your caveman eyes and primitive reptilian brain, so just click away you big sack of MUTATED SPERM CELL. I for one enjoyed this math game, I'd prefer more difficulty by adding more resource, X factor event like sperm death from temp change, disease etc.

Where does this Alley man get his prices from

gukinator responds:

This function right here ;)

function randomizePurchaseAmount() {
var rankMod = rank * 1.3;
var rcum:uint = rankMod * rankMod * 6 + (Math.random() * (12 + rankMod)) + (Math.random() * rankMod * 4 + Math.floor(rankMod/2));
var rcost:uint = Math.ceil(rankMod / 2) + (Math.random() * 2) + (Math.random() * rankMod);
tempPurchase = {cum:rcum, cost:rcost};

This is so fucking stupid, I love it. Hope it has more content and better graphics soon, keep up the good work xD

A novelty game at best. Uses the same mechanic used by nearly all others in the genre. Nothing special, nothing new. Finished in 14:30.

gukinator responds:

That is surely true, many games bring nothing new to the table, but on top of that this game isn't even fun XD. It was created for novelty, out of boredom and silliness. I wanted to keep the playtime short to gauge community interest, of course I could change one variable and make the game take 100 times longer, but that wouldn't make the game any more fun. I think its better to have people saying "I finished too quickly" than "It was too slow to finish", so i aired on the side of caution and made the game short. And as you said, the only draw is novelty, and that runs dry quick. Anyway, I have big plans to actually make the game fun, and add some unique and interesting mechanics. I hope you'll give it another try after the update

i didnt really like it that much it could of been better probably because of the same man standing there you could of changed the people who buys it

gukinator responds:

It certainly can be a lot better, and I'm working on a complete overhaul right now. I actually did change the guy who buys your cum, there are two unused characters in the game that were going to be his replacement, but people were saying they preferred the old character after I added the new ones, so I took them out