I love the idea and you did well telling the story.
I do have two main issues though which will improve in time with practice XD
The animation is a bit lacking compared to the clear voice quality, but the story is enough to keep me here through it. Fight scenes like at the beginning would do well with being just a bit faster and smoother.
The voice acting is great, but the sound editing needs to be improved a bit as the sound doesen't all fit the atmosphere quite as well as it should. The ambiance is alright but needs to be worked in a bit better with the speaking, a good place to point out where better editing is needed is again during the fight scene everything sounded a bit off. Make me feel like I'm in the fight with them with the sound, not someone peaking from the background.
thanx heaps buddy I found this critique to be extremely helpful. I am going to submit the next installment to this story tonight, but I will put this advice to good use with the next project I do :D cause I need all the help I can get lol