God's Assassin

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A text-based "Choose Your Own Adventure"-style game about evil, math, drugs and God.

Please be warned that this game pokes fun at religious concepts pretty aggressively! My own beliefs changed quite drastically right after I wrote it, though. You can read that bizarre little story at we-are-1.net.

I hope you enjoy the game -- please leave comments!


End 25#

bahahaha oh man the story and many different outcomes in this is freaken awesome love this game you guys have to make a second one

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GregLoire responds:

Thanks! I made another one before this; check my Newgrounds profile if you're interested.

First of all


Wouldn't want anyone reading this to lose out on the enjoyment of this here story book.

The Good - Well written, complex, and entertaining story. I really love the interactions between the characters in this and even after seeing multiple different endings, I still enjoyed every little blurb I came across. Even when I realized that I'd hit 24 out of 25 endings and cycling back to the beginning to decline that TOS agreement I still ended up rereading several choice bits. I know this section is shorter than the others, but let it be known that I did truly enjoy this game. I just don't feel the need to spend fifteen minutes telling you what to not change as you'll probably do that without me saying anything.

The Bad - I wouldn't call most of these truly detrimental so much as nitpicks. Choose Your Own Adventure style stories are by their very nature shorter than a linear counterpart, but balance this by allowing you to tailor the story to match your own person. This game suffers from being told from the same "perspective" no matter which path you take. True the resultant paths are very different, but in general it felt as though these were all the different logical conclusions of the same person. Even beyond this certain path choices that seemed to disagree with this central personality (I'm assuming its you) were filled with sarcasm and heavy negative connotation, so much so that at some points I felt this would have been better off sticking with a single straight narrative instead of the Choose Your Own style. Also, I understand this was originally a novel, so I expect there to be a bit lost in translations, but there are some points that I wish would have been more thoroughly explained, namely the frog rains, the fact that the main character reincarnates (which when probing god on the nature of the afterlife he never mentions, making it seem like an oddity), and the main character's completely unexplained ability to kick god's ass. Those are the glaring ones, there are a few other quirks that I can see explained with some "creative license" like why Stan never just gives you the technology for space travel that he so obviously has access to (considering that he can warp on to any space ship at any time). Finally that last nitpick I have is that this game lacks any "final path". I can appreciate that you wouldn't want any single path to be more relevant or true than any other, especially if you were trying to avoid the mistake I mentioned at the beginning of this admittedly too long paragraph. That fact that you weren't doing that though, along with my second complaint just made it feel as if there was something more just waiting for me to collect all the endings or something of that nature. Alas the questions remain unanswered and I am left feeling unfulfilled. Still its much better to have a great game/story where I point out the detractors, than to have a crap game/story where I point out where it works. Thanks for that.

The Ugly - My best friend is a cop. This is one of the very few professions in the world where people legitimately risk their lives for your well being everyday and are consistently shit on for it. Even if there are a few asshole cops out there, there are asshole hotel receptionists too but people aren't always trying to be dicks to them for no reason. I can understand being inconvenienced by them enforcing laws you don't agree with, but does that warrant belittling and debasing a group of people who legitimately die for your well being on a semi-regular basis? Not factored into my scoring at all, just a "pet peev" as much as I hate the term.

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GregLoire responds:

Thank you for the well-thought-out review!

I actually agree with all of your nitpicks. The only response that I can give to this is that I would need to be a better writer or put more time into this project to address them. But I definitely agree that this would be a better story if I were able to address the issues you've raised.

I will say one thing, though, about the question you raised of why Stan doesn't just give you the formulas directly. This was an intentional question that I wanted the player to ask, because I think it's a question that we should be asking more in the real world. If God is really against something, then why do YOU need to "carry out his will"? Why is it that God can only act through people? Why can Satan only act through people?

When we apply these questions to the real world, the most obvious answer is "because God and Satan are not real." So that's why I wanted the reader to ask this question. Why DOES Stan need me, anyway? Why are humans the only ones who are able to truly impact their own destinies?

I got ending 21 first. xD I pissed off Satan. >:D

Lol Ending #15 Funnest one... i love this.. i need more of this stuff!

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Credits & Info

3.91 / 5.00

Jul 2, 2014
8:02 PM EDT
Adventure - Other