Looks like all you did here was to practice your skills.
First of all, the sound effects are vague. Yes, there are some and they are significant in the sense that they express the reality - the sound of bomb is exactly, the cries are good - as I said, are well placed where they are. But are they so important? In a film, no matter how small it may be, there is some ambient soundtrack that keeps the viewer at least intrigued.
Secondly, there is a problem: when the scenes changes with those flea television. They bother your eyes and they are interrupting the thread of the story - if it is present there, more or less.
Yeah, my english is not the best and I couldn't tell it in a more fluent way but I hope you understood what I meant. In the end all I can say is that you need to keep working, because is the only way you'll can get the performance!