Your art was not that bad. The music part was fine its only when it was fuzzy did it start to annoy me. When she starts talking to him the grammar becomes poor. The password can be anything, which is a bit redundant to a visual novel. Any food works. I'd suggest a skip or fast forward button for the just words part. The first part was to fast to read so maybe make slower or you have to click to move on. I does not mention you need a mouse just the arrow keys. and if any art I would suggest you improve the down hair do before she has cat ears because it defies all gravity and brings down your other wise pretty good art. I am sorry if this seems like nagging or ripping on you but I thought some pointers would help you improve it, I really hope it gets accepted and you continue it I am rooting for you. Good job :)